i just cannot figure out how 2 persons, who came from the same mother's womb. can turn out to be so different. dun worry, it wasnt an argument this time. but, the anger that's burning inside me afew hours ago is as good as that.
every word that came out from your mouth is accompanied by an ulterior motive of getting money from my parents. can you just stop it? or do you not realise what you're doing? have you ever given them any money/advantages? NO. have you ever been a nice child to them? maybe when you couldnt speak yet, or maybe when you were in need, only you'd behave that way. all you've been to them is a selfish child who screeamed and shout at them for no rhyme and reason and expects them to give in to your demands. surely you can behave better than that. you may blame them for giving you for such a broken family, for such kousy living circumstances. but wake up, i grew up in the same situation as you. but i'm not that selfish as you. you're earning more than me each month and you're expecting them to pay for your NEW cellphone? are you outta your mind? isn't it enough that my dad paid for your NEW laptop, when you've already got a desktop? and come on, you aren't even sure that you're going to an uni. GIVE ME A BREAK. and when i wanted a laptop the other time, you accused me of getting it with an intention of showing off, come on. tell me who's the one man. and cant you listen to me for a moment? and stop asking me when A-levels results is coming out. even if i do super duper ultra mega badly, i dun need your care or concern. and yes, i dun need your sarcasm as well, if i ever end up in the same uni as you. PLS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. and im telling you, pls work harder if you want to really go into an uni, but i guess. it should be no problem for you since you're so used to working hard and gaining advantages for yourself. i guess the family is so disappointed in you that you cannot even tell that we're not talking to you as much anymore. and whenever we speak, can the topic not be about money? but you just cannot! YOU JUST CANNOT! if money is so impt to your life i'd give you a part of my salary when i grow up, so long as you dun disturb MY parents anymore. okay, i still do see them as people who gave birth to me and raised me up, although i didnt get the best stuffs compared to my friends. and if you don't, and you're seriously thinking that you're so good. pls, the door is open. i cannot believe how selfish you can get. even to your own parents, i know the way mom has taught us is that money IS our security. but pls, surely you know better than that. spend some time looking for the real purpose in your life, i'm saying this cuz i believe there's still a chance of you changing into a better person. but if you're ever reading this, and you're taking it negatively again. i seriously dun think there can be a conversation between us anymore. well, go ahead to solve problems with punches and kicks. it's alright with me. but pls, i dare you to do that to people in the outside world. and not towards me and mom or your gf. it's kinda. pathetic i must say.
but i wonder if you'd ever see this, i hope you will. cuz i'll nvr have the courage to say this infront of you. cuz maybe, i'd be killed within the first sentence. haha. kinda ashamed for myself for being so fearful. and all this i've typed out in a pretty calm manner, in such a way that i can never imagined myself to be while talkg about this issue. maybe, it doesnt prick that much after so many occurences. but i still pray that i can get over it as well. God, i realise that i still cannot get over this totally. if not, i'd wouldnt be feeling those hatred all over again. i must learn to surrender all this to you. it's hard, God, it's really hard.......................................... and yes, pls speak to my bro. i guess this family's too broken and only Your touch can piece the fragments back. yeah. whatever it is, i hope i've grown a lil stronger today.
Psalm 37:16
16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked;
@ Tuesday, February 17, 2009 10:15 AM