Psalm 37:16
16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked;
@ Friday, January 13, 2012 8:52 AM
＂其实，你已经很幸福了。＂
看了＂星空＂那部电影，这句话最让我有感触。不是我不想安慰人，也不是因为我看不起任何人。可是，痛苦是需要经过比较的。不要一直指望我替你解决你的问题，不要一直对我有所要求。不要一直任为我对你的好是应该的。不要叫我好好保重，但却不在我身旁，不要叫我坚强，因为我已经差不多忘了什么脆弱。
＂其实，你已经很幸福了。＂为什么你们就是看不见。为什么你们一直要求别人要对你们好。为什么你就认定你就是童话故事里的公主，人人都要伺候你，为你效劳。为什么你就可以不尊重别人的看法，别人的时间。为什么你就是不会看到别人对你的好。为你做的一切。连一句＂谢谢＂都这么难吗？
我们都不是公主，也不是王子。只是活在这地球上的普通人。如果大家都能事先地替人着想，我们也许都能多快乐一点。
我写这篇文章，并不是要展现我吃过多少苦。我相信，在这世界上一定有更多更多生活环境比我困苦一万倍，甚至一千万倍的人。我只希望大家能珍惜眼前的一切，不要放大自己的需求，搞得大家都得顺从你。说真的，你没有那么重要。但你也没有那么渺小，多多为别人着想。如果有钱的话，时不时请好朋友吃饭。多多称赞别人的优点。我想，就因为你这小小的改变，你的世界会变得更快乐，更幸福。朋友们也会因此受惠。
好吧，就这样。
@ Saturday, December 24, 2011 2:31 AM
I seriously dislike festivals.
@ Saturday, December 10, 2011 9:51 AM
Sometimes I wish I was somebody else. Then I remember that You've created everybody different. But You love is all the same. I wish I was a lil..... then when I get to this part, there's nothing I want to change about myself. Maybe its just the phase of life I'm in. There's things I want.. but I dono if it's in Your plans to give it to me. Hence I began looking around envying other girls... I guess I should be happy being myself. I should be proud of the things I can do, and humble towards the things I can't. Yeah, I'm happy being me and thankful that You've created me this way. Yeah, gotta stop this negativity.
Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1
@ Wednesday, November 09, 2011 5:54 PM
sometimes, in life, i think we've gotten our orders wrong. we think that we need to be able, before we can be available for God. how is it so? we think that we need to attain certain skills, meet certain requirements before we can serve God as something something. yeah true, some positions def need a certain skill requirement or something. but then again, that's not the point. we shouldn't be hindered by this thinking... God doesn't need you to be 21 - when you can think "clearer" to serve Him. God doesn't need you to be a hollywood actor, album-cutting singer or a master in speech and drama before you can serve. i think our availability towards God is more important to Him than our skills. if you're willing to give it time and effort, what makes it impossible for you to attain the skill that's relevant? haha..
some of us struggle with it because we think that God is an angry God.. we need to be whatever before we can serve Him.. but it is written.
Hebrews 4:16a
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
some of us struggle with it because we think that God is an angry God.. we need to be whatever before we can serve Him.. but it is written.
Hebrews 4:16a
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,
Philippians 4:13
New International Version (NIV)
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
and some of us, we know it. and we're just using it as an excuse to defer our term of serving God. maybe it's time to abandon all these things, start seeing how real God is in our lives and in your friends' lives and make a choice to draw nearer to Him and putting Him first.
and some other times, we have this stupid concept about friendships that we start sharing first to get comfortable with each other.. hmm, am i the weird one or is this really not the way? nobody does that, right? at least not in my world.. people usually get comfortable with each other before they start sharing deep stuffs? it gets forced whenever we have to start sharing just to get comfortable. i mean, there're definitely times we have to sacrifice, to get out of our comfort zone to have that lil breakthrough in friendships.. hmm, i guess i may not be entirely right. haha and im losing my point. so just saying...
and some of us, we know it. and we're just using it as an excuse to defer our term of serving God. maybe it's time to abandon all these things, start seeing how real God is in our lives and in your friends' lives and make a choice to draw nearer to Him and putting Him first.
and some other times, we have this stupid concept about friendships that we start sharing first to get comfortable with each other.. hmm, am i the weird one or is this really not the way? nobody does that, right? at least not in my world.. people usually get comfortable with each other before they start sharing deep stuffs? it gets forced whenever we have to start sharing just to get comfortable. i mean, there're definitely times we have to sacrifice, to get out of our comfort zone to have that lil breakthrough in friendships.. hmm, i guess i may not be entirely right. haha and im losing my point. so just saying...
@ Sunday, October 30, 2011 9:22 AM
It's funny how sometimes we think we're good enough to control certain areas of our lives. Then when things start to go wrong, we run to God and beg Him to make things easier.. Sometimes I'm surprised at how selfish and stupid I can get. But then again, why should I be? Because I'm a human as well.
There's one thing that never fails to surprise me. That would be Your love. How You see all my weaknesses and yet choose to love me. How You know that tomorrow may be another day that I would live without You, yet You still allow me to wake up every morning. Your grace is overwhelming, and the way You love... its really crazy. I cannot comprehend the depth of it, but I know it's really very deep. God, I love You.
@ Sunday, October 23, 2011 4:46 AM
Reading a book
about surrendering. It’s a book about paradoxes. Barely one chapter into the
book, the author writes about true strength being found in weaknesses. And you
can only stop when you realized that you can’t stop. Things that challenges how
we’ve perceived this world to begin with.
I could almost
always relate to him, he grew up pretty much like me. And he pinpointed out the
stuffs that I thought… I never had to deal with? I never knew I was dealing
with shame, that’s why I never thought highly of myself before. I never knew
the lack of love in the environment I grew up in had such a big impact on me,
until I read this book. And also, until I really sit down and think about how I’ve
treating the people around me and how I’ve really thought about myself.
Hmm, I’m amazed at
those who saw who I really am, yet chose to stick by me willingly. I’m thankful
yet at the same time fearful. And God You’re one of them, and probably the most
important of them. It kills me to know that I’m still such a mess even after so
long. Rage and anger is still something that I couldn’t control. But, I shouldn’t
be the one that’s controlling them. You should be the one.
There’s so many
things I want to say, but I don’t know how to pen them down properly. Lol. But I
realized reading really liberates me, and I aim to finish reading the
Christianity rack in Bedok library. Haha, have been going there for the past
two weeks. Hopefully, I can do it!
Okay, random post. But
yeah. Hehe.
Share with you guys
something funny, today at kinders we asked the kids.
So, where do milk
come from?
COW!!! COW!!!
CCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! (you know the kids. Haha)
Okay, very smart! So
where do coffee come from?
(silence) (murmurs
of weird answers haha) FOOD COURT
HAHAHAHAHA I ALMOST
PENG-ED. But it’s seriously funny. First world kids. Coffee comes from coffee
beans J
@ Sunday, October 16, 2011 9:52 AM
To have lil kids fluttering around you, hugging you, sitting on your lap is sucha blessing every sunday. I don't think I deserve to be their leader, or even worthy enough to teach them Your truth. But thank You for giving me the chance, and teaching me new stuffs along the way. Watching them grow up is really sucha joy. I wouldn't give anything in the world for it. Their innocence taught me faith to believe in a God that we cannot see. These are young minds, which should only be able to comprehend things that are tangible. Yet they know about Your existence, not because we keep talking about You and drilling it into their head. I believe they feel You and that they really know You. And, this is faith. To believe in something and someone unseen. And I see myself a little clearer every sunday. I used to not know how to relate to God as a Father. Maybe my earthly relationship with my earthly father has gotten in the way one way or another, but nonetheless I love my earthly father as well. Haha. I used to fear Him. Maybe to an unhealthy extent. Whenever I do gravely wrong, I couldn't really believe someone would forgive me just like that. As in, you mean you really don't have to do anything? Even after apologising, sometimes the guilt remains. On bad days, it resonates. It keeps telling me that I have to work harder to get rid of that particular sin in my life because God hates it. And if He hates it, He hates me doing it.. And maybe because of that something in His plans for me would be changed and I would be shortchanged because of that! Oh woah, what a seed that the devil has planted in my mind. Try harder liting, try harder. But tell you what, you may not be able to get through in the end because you always fail. And God is not gonna like it.
Yeah, and that was what I thought for a long long time. God doesn't like it, and I gotta stop doing it. Yes that is true. But we forgot about one thing, God loves us unconditionally as well. He hates our sins, but He will never forsake us just because we sinned. And He will forgive us as long as we are sincere about repenting. Okay note here, this is not your passport to sin as and when you like. We've gotta be sincere, and by repenting we mean that we're not gonna do it again. And yes, sometimes on bad days the devil will get me, and I will slip into some bad habits again. Then I would start beating myself up, I think the guilt is neccessary. Like, for us to feel bad for what we did because we've sinned against God. David mourned and cried out to God after he has sinned right? I guess its normal and I think its perfectly fine to feel bad about it. But I don't think it's okay if we feel guilty about it perpetually, a feeling which lingered in my life for far too long sometimes.
As I look at those children, I got a glimpse of the way You look at me. Sometimes when the children are misbehaving, we would be a little firmer towards them, and we would refuse to give in to what they want because that isn't what they need. If they really cross the line, we would probably be alot more stern towards them than usual, telling them where they've gone wrong and what they should be doing instead. But once they get it, we would also tell them that we still love them and its because of this love hence sometimes it seems like we're being mean to them. And we would never bear any grudges against them, or blame them for being such naughty kids. Because we know the nature of kids right! If they don't misbehave in one way or another, today or tomorrow, I think maybe we have something else to worry about. Haha. Yep, probably that's what You have been doing towards me all the time. Chiding me, reprimanding me whenever I've done wrong. Practising Your tough love sometimes because stupid me just never seemed to get it. But You will never bear a grudge against me, You know how fallible I am, and how powerful You are. You will always love me for who I am, but You love me too much to leave me the way I am now. Thank You. Thank You for everything You've given me. Thank You for always loving me and giving me second chances. Most importantly, thank You for being God. Thank You for being the One who is always beside me.
Sometimes, I'd feel so bad that I need You in my life... because I need You? Like, in the end, it's kinda.. selfish? Because I'm the one that's gaining in the relationship, You're always like the one that's losing out. But I know, You love me too much to calculate all this. Yeah, random thoughts. So I wana start appreciating You more. Not because of the things You've given me, but because of Your very presence in my life.
Yeah, and that was what I thought for a long long time. God doesn't like it, and I gotta stop doing it. Yes that is true. But we forgot about one thing, God loves us unconditionally as well. He hates our sins, but He will never forsake us just because we sinned. And He will forgive us as long as we are sincere about repenting. Okay note here, this is not your passport to sin as and when you like. We've gotta be sincere, and by repenting we mean that we're not gonna do it again. And yes, sometimes on bad days the devil will get me, and I will slip into some bad habits again. Then I would start beating myself up, I think the guilt is neccessary. Like, for us to feel bad for what we did because we've sinned against God. David mourned and cried out to God after he has sinned right? I guess its normal and I think its perfectly fine to feel bad about it. But I don't think it's okay if we feel guilty about it perpetually, a feeling which lingered in my life for far too long sometimes.
As I look at those children, I got a glimpse of the way You look at me. Sometimes when the children are misbehaving, we would be a little firmer towards them, and we would refuse to give in to what they want because that isn't what they need. If they really cross the line, we would probably be alot more stern towards them than usual, telling them where they've gone wrong and what they should be doing instead. But once they get it, we would also tell them that we still love them and its because of this love hence sometimes it seems like we're being mean to them. And we would never bear any grudges against them, or blame them for being such naughty kids. Because we know the nature of kids right! If they don't misbehave in one way or another, today or tomorrow, I think maybe we have something else to worry about. Haha. Yep, probably that's what You have been doing towards me all the time. Chiding me, reprimanding me whenever I've done wrong. Practising Your tough love sometimes because stupid me just never seemed to get it. But You will never bear a grudge against me, You know how fallible I am, and how powerful You are. You will always love me for who I am, but You love me too much to leave me the way I am now. Thank You. Thank You for everything You've given me. Thank You for always loving me and giving me second chances. Most importantly, thank You for being God. Thank You for being the One who is always beside me.
Sometimes, I'd feel so bad that I need You in my life... because I need You? Like, in the end, it's kinda.. selfish? Because I'm the one that's gaining in the relationship, You're always like the one that's losing out. But I know, You love me too much to calculate all this. Yeah, random thoughts. So I wana start appreciating You more. Not because of the things You've given me, but because of Your very presence in my life.
@ Wednesday, October 12, 2011 7:46 AM
Hebrews 12:5-13
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet,”[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
@ 7:26 AM
Sometimes, it gets
so hard. I stare at my surroundings and I wonder, God, what do You see in them?
Sigh, then I’m reminded, what do You see in me? Probably nothing much, driven
entirely by Your love and power that You went to the cross. Pastor Hongteck
says You came not for us to make You great. Instead, You came so that we can be
great. You saw the potential in us, and hence made it Your motivation to the
cross, so that this unleashed potential can reach its maximum impact. Man,
seriously… You don’t even know if we’d reciprocate You.
You’re so
different, sometimes I look around all I can see is faults and flaw. The worse
happens when I look within. But I know You’re with me, I cannot think this way.
Like I’m not worthy or whatsoever. Nothing puts a price tag on me because You’ve
set me free on the cross. All these insecurities and unworthiness comes from
satan. They do make me feel like I have nothing to offer to this world
sometimes, but I know that’s not true. Sometimes, he makes me feel so tired of
trying. And forces me to go into a mode of self-pity. My predicament ain’t the
worse after all. It shouldn’t destroy me if at the end of the day I didn’t
matter to them as much as they did to me. At least, they did try. And maybe that’s
enough for me. I just wana be through with this stupid nagging feeling. It gets
to me a lot, and I don’t like it. Too much time spent on negative feelings alr.
I can lose the world, but I can’t lose You. The world can lose me, but You won’t
lose me.
I know that You are
for me.
@ Tuesday, October 11, 2011 7:05 AM
This is gonna be a
weary post. Sigh, I kinda got injured today. And seriously God, physical damage
is much more welcomed. Lol. There was some bad exchange between me and my
brother today. And I kinda lost it. As in, emotionally. I didn’t explode or
whatever. But seriously, I’m tired.
Sometimes I ask
myself, how many times am I going to subject myself to this? How many times do I
wana put them first and get so hurt after that because I know that I’m never
gonna be first? Notice that I didn’t even use second because I kinda doubt I
can be second either. All those nasty words, if I didn’t try, maybe I wouldn’t
get so upset afterall.
A lot of emotions flooded me today… I began to hate the way I’m being brought up, I begin to hate the way they’ve been treating me. I begin to hate the way they’ve shaped me to be. I hate the way they see me yet I can’t bear to do the same to them. I begin to get angry. Then I start to get angry because of the fact that I’m getting angry. I hate being angry. But… I wana curb it. If not for them, I may been a little more secure. If not for them, I would have been a little less angry. If not for them, I would have been… that’s all I could think of. Sigh, all I asked was something small and yet he just had to be mean.
A lot of emotions flooded me today… I began to hate the way I’m being brought up, I begin to hate the way they’ve been treating me. I begin to hate the way they’ve shaped me to be. I hate the way they see me yet I can’t bear to do the same to them. I begin to get angry. Then I start to get angry because of the fact that I’m getting angry. I hate being angry. But… I wana curb it. If not for them, I may been a little more secure. If not for them, I would have been a little less angry. If not for them, I would have been… that’s all I could think of. Sigh, all I asked was something small and yet he just had to be mean.
But, it’s over. While
I’m getting so upset, he doesn’t even care. Why should I waste so much effort
crying here? Nobody seemed to understand anyways, but I know You do. I don’t
know why this is still happening, and I don’t know how long more it’s gonna
continue. But I guess You have a plan. It kills me a little whenever I give my
all yet it’s never enough. And it hurts me even more whenever I see people
leading such comfortable lives. But I know everybody has their own struggles,
no comparing there liting.
I don’t know what
to say, but I know that You are for me.
@ Tuesday, October 04, 2011 10:42 AM
Overheard at antm
cycle 16:
Tyra: You know what
people with abandonment issues always do?
Molly: Yeah,
sabotage. Push the limits…
Tyra: Yeah,
exactly. To test whether these people are gonna leave them in the end.
Molly: Yeah, but
they didn’t. They are the best people I’ve ever met.
@ Sunday, October 02, 2011 9:29 AM
Something triggered
my thoughts today. Say, a friend of mine is stumbled or jaded because of
something, and therefore jeopardizing their walk with God. Sometimes, or maybe
all the time, I used to blame all these people around him/her. I’m like, why
can’t you lead your life properly. Why can’t you stop being such a hypocrite. Why
can’t they this, why can’t they that. Why must you do this to my friend. Then I
realized, it’s nobody’s fault at all. Everybody has choices, and.. who am I to
blame anybody? Who am I to say who is not doing their job. I guess and I believe
God will judge eventually. We can choose to stumble, and we can also choose not
to be stumbled. Either ways, everybody’s responsible. Or nobody is. what a
fallen world. What a stupid thinking liting.
Maybe I’m too
critical about too many things. We learnt about being blameless yesterday. It struck
me that everybody’s standards are different although we all aim to have that of
God’s. For me, there’re totally some taboos and some lines I would never cross.
But for some people, it may not seem wrong to them at all. Then what do I do? Sometimes,
I don’t know. I just know I have to keep my stand, and not do the things that I’m
uncomfortable with. Or the things that will stumble me.
Random thought: My
fallenness pinned Jesus to the cross. But His power resurrected Him and saved
my life. It’s never about me, if it was, I’d be the one on the cross instead. And
talking about self-control.. yeah I need that. the marshmallow test is happening
every period of our lives…
@ Wednesday, September 28, 2011 5:40 AM
33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and[a] knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”[b]
35 “Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”[c]
36 For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”[b]
35 “Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”[c]
36 For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
Romans 12
A Living Sacrifice
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
this verse keeps appearing in my life recently. been reading joyce meyer's battlefield of the mind. guess i missed the focus today again. sigh, shall not beat myself over it because imperfect human like me will surely fail. its about picking it up again and renewing it again. man may not give me second chance, but i guess i can always try again with God.
@ Sunday, September 18, 2011 9:19 AM
阿信在blog說;
'''OAOA是嬰兒的啼哭，是摩天輪的樣子，是太陽與山脈的形
是沒有語言的希望，是在風裡面寫下此刻自己的呼喊......。
你的OAOA和我不同，但我們還是可以唱同一首OAOA。'''
就四个简单的字母，他竟然可以有这么不同的看法。
凭自己相信什么，不稀相信什么，就能写出人们心坎里的感觉。阿信真的很强。
他相信的我也相信。
我相信 苦涩的 眼泪
我不信 甜美的 誓言
我相信 音乐就该 音乐
**
我相信 爱情的 纯粹
我不信 华丽的 诗篇
我相信 热烈的 争辩
我不信 无声的 和谐
***
我相信 秒秒的 瞬间
我不信 年年的 永远
我相信 摇滚就能万岁
[Chorus]
快张开你的嘴 OAOA
再不管你是谁 OAOA
人生都太短暂
别想 别怕 别後退
现在就是永远
出生的那一年 OAOA
转眼就这一天 OAOA
人生都太短暂
去疯 去爱 去浪费
和我 再唱 OA OAOA
我相信人需要的不是成功，而是一种信念，一个梦想。
需要的是能放纵地追逐自己想要，还有一群勇于参与这份追逐的朋友。
\m/ 我相信 摇滚就能万岁 \m/
'''OAOA是嬰兒的啼哭，是摩天輪的樣子，是太陽與山脈的形
是沒有語言的希望，是在風裡面寫下此刻自己的呼喊......。
你的OAOA和我不同，但我們還是可以唱同一首OAOA。'''
就四个简单的字母，他竟然可以有这么不同的看法。
凭自己相信什么，不稀相信什么，就能写出人们心坎里的感觉。阿信真的很强。
他相信的我也相信。
我相信 苦涩的 眼泪
我不信 甜美的 誓言
我相信 音乐就该 音乐
**
我相信 爱情的 纯粹
我不信 华丽的 诗篇
我相信 热烈的 争辩
我不信 无声的 和谐
***
我相信 秒秒的 瞬间
我不信 年年的 永远
我相信 摇滚就能万岁
[Chorus]
快张开你的嘴 OAOA
再不管你是谁 OAOA
人生都太短暂
别想 别怕 别後退
现在就是永远
出生的那一年 OAOA
转眼就这一天 OAOA
人生都太短暂
去疯 去爱 去浪费
和我 再唱 OA OAOA
我相信人需要的不是成功，而是一种信念，一个梦想。
需要的是能放纵地追逐自己想要，还有一群勇于参与这份追逐的朋友。
\m/ 我相信 摇滚就能万岁 \m/
@ Saturday, September 10, 2011 10:50 AM
有时，要我怎么说。
我会哭，是因为在乎。
i dono how to put it across, but i really just want everybody to be happy. who am i to judge. who am i to hate. i only wana be there.
我会哭，是因为在乎。
i dono how to put it across, but i really just want everybody to be happy. who am i to judge. who am i to hate. i only wana be there.
@ 10:08 AM
1 Timothy 1:14-16
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
haha, paul i think i can fight with you being the worst sinner in this entire world. how many times have i failed You. how many times have i failed the expectations of the people around me. and self-righteously think that im justified for doing so. how many times, i point fingers at people, just because ive given myself far too much credit for having tried my best for them. and how many times, have i let all this stupid emotions get into my stupid mind. and how many times have i done stupid things because of it. i cannot let Satan keep doing this to me, and i need to stop need this to others. so this time, im not gonna say im sorry. im gonna show that i am. things may get harder, but i guess i need to learn that my dependence should be on God alone.
im sorry, i know i keep hurting you. and i guess time and God would be the best healer for now.
15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
haha, paul i think i can fight with you being the worst sinner in this entire world. how many times have i failed You. how many times have i failed the expectations of the people around me. and self-righteously think that im justified for doing so. how many times, i point fingers at people, just because ive given myself far too much credit for having tried my best for them. and how many times, have i let all this stupid emotions get into my stupid mind. and how many times have i done stupid things because of it. i cannot let Satan keep doing this to me, and i need to stop need this to others. so this time, im not gonna say im sorry. im gonna show that i am. things may get harder, but i guess i need to learn that my dependence should be on God alone.
im sorry, i know i keep hurting you. and i guess time and God would be the best healer for now.
@ Thursday, September 08, 2011 9:19 AM
@ Saturday, September 03, 2011 7:43 AM
Whenever I see Samuelchair cry, I feel like crying too. Am I crazy?
@ Friday, September 02, 2011 9:44 AM
Girls. We sometimes willingly go through physical pain just to look a tad more beautiful. Facials.. (you know how much that hurts.) Slimming. Dieting. All this nonsense. And some if us, if we take it to another level. We dont mind having some botox injected. Some of our flesh cut and having some other stuffs introduced to our bodies. Why, then some of us are so afraid of going through the pain of being tested by God in order to become a more beautiful person in Christ. Why do we reject it so much.. Why are we so afraid of it in the first place.
We all know ita gonna be good. Its gonna be beneficial. Its gonna turn our alright at the back of our minds. Yet, the fear deterred us from having full faith in God. Haha emotional beings. Sigh.
I came up with this story myself. Lol i dono if its gonna make sense but i shall try. Many of us, wants to be that beautiful butterfly fluttering around in the sky. Having the whole world envious of what we have. But sometimes we forget that all butterflies start from a caterpillar. And, if im not wrong. Caterpillars arent exactly good-looking. But guess what, its color allows it to be camouflage and hence protect it from its predators. Probably this is what some of us need right now. Instead of those beautiful colors, we need God's protection. We need to hide under that "ugly" skin so that we are able to grow properly. And some of us understands that. So we go around telling other caterpillars that we are gonna be beautiful one day. Like, really beautiful you know? Keep the faith. We are gonna get there some day. But some of our caterpillar friends dont believe in that. Look, how long is that gonna take? And i can barely recognise the butterflies, are you sure they came from us? Im ugly. And probably im gonna stay like this forever. Im not going to believe in tat. And how painful would it be to go through such a big change..
That got you a lil demoralised. Are what they said true?? You thought you saw real transformations before.... Are they just pure miracles?
As you wonder, you begin to grow into a pupa (which is even uglier than caterpillar) your faith shook like never before. Whats going on in me, you ask.. Your unbelieving friends look on and said, see i told you. Now youre worse than before. In this moment, lost is the perfect word to describe you. You cry but nobody hears. You pray but there is no answer. What is going on?!?!?
There is no turning back. You feel trapped being in that stuck-ey position.... And one day.. You begin to moult and shed some of your ugly skin. You feel like ure being liberated from smth. Colors begin to appear. Your wings emerged. Guess what. Youre able to fly while the others watch on in their ugly skins.....
What im trying to say is... Keep the faith. All of us are destined to be butterflies. In God's plans all of us are supposed to soar, to fly, to be beautiful. Dont let the pain ever get you to compromise on what youre supposed to have. Its gonna be painful. But its gonna be worth it. And what youre gonna lose is your ugly useless skins. Exchange it for a colorful suit to flaunt! Just like the furnace which tests the silver. God tests our hearts. So tat you can be the butterfly you are supposed to be. During the whole metamorphosis, God will do His work. We don't have to do anything, but to go through it with hearts yielding to Him, having faith in Him. Yeahh it's hard i know.. Some of us dont believe in God. Some of us have left the faith. I may be looking worse than youre now, that's why you're not convinced. But daily im being renewed. Give me the time to show you that i can be the butterfly too. And pls recognise me. Because youre recognising the power of God.
Haha. Thanks for making it thus far. I dono how meaningful this story is but one thing I know is my bad angmoh. So it really mean something to me having you tahan until here. Xie le! :)
@ Wednesday, August 31, 2011 8:38 AM
Proverbs 2
Moral Benefits of Wisdom
1 My son, if you accept my wordsand store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,
3 and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.
9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.
God doesn't need my help, I need His.