Romans
10:17
New International Version (NIV)
17 Consequently,
faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word
about Christ.
until and unless we learn and accept who
God really is, the kinda faith we have is not going be one that's releasing.
one that heals. one that performs miracles. i believe why the disciples could
have the power to do what Jesus did was because they saw and they believed. it
was a fact, it wasn't something that people like us read in the bible, and try
to imagine it from our point of view in the present. i guess sometimes we
really halved, or maybe like just have the faith for 10% of God's power....
tsk. why we so like that.
was at the kingdom invasion conference
tonight. felt the spirit moving as well.. the pastor said that faith comes from
knowing who God really is. it comes from knowledge, it comes from going near to
God. we can never muster faith in somebody until we really really know him/her
right. imagine... before your best friend was your best friend, would you ever
entrust the amount of info you're giving to her then? i guess not. it took a
lot of communication, hanging out, having fun, a lot of sharing a lot of joy, a
lot of tears to stand at where you guys now. similarly, for God and us, we need
to press in (like what PJ keep saying) and of course we need to know who God
really is..
i have this nagging burden that most of us
are entering in the presence of God, trying so so so so to lift up the name of
Jesus, but actually its kinda beyond our level of faith. we say oh God You're
good... but a part of us is like, oh God... i dono how good You really
are..
maybe all we need to do for now is to really
confess our guilt and fears as we come into the presence of God, that's the
thing that's hindering us. i confess that, i'm not always comfortable coming
into the presence of God. i feel that im unworthy at times... i feel that ive
sinned so badly against Him, and He'll be angry towards me. sometimes, i feel
super unloved by God, i feel shortchanged. i try to hard to worship Him, and
something inside me is like, tsk God... my life is sooo hard. sometimes im
distracted, by the worries of this earth. but even small and ridiculous things
like what i am going to wear tmr. i tell you, really these are the stupid
things that goes through my mind whenever i strum the guitar trying to worship,
or like randomly breaking into song to praise. thus, i believe in spiritual
warfare. and to engage in spiritual warfare, of course you need spiritual tools
la. LOL, true story. we need prayers, we need interceding, we need the word of
God. we need deliberate attempts to stay focus on the one and only who deserves
our attention..
but many times, i think we got the wrong
outlook of God. we think He's always angry with us, think He's far away, think
i have not much to thank Him for. but i guess that's really those stuffs that
impedes us from entering the presence of God and worshiping Him in
His wholeness.
today the pastor said that
2
Corinthians 1:19-20
New International Version (NIV)
19 For
the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us—by me and Silas[a]and Timothy—was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has
always been “Yes.” 20 For no matter how many promises God has made,
they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the
glory of God.
how many times we forgot about this, that
God wants to bless us so badly. and in His name, it's always Yes and Amen. if
we ask with the right heart and motives.. we need solid knowledge of God,
knowledge = facts about Him. that we won't be shaken by circumstances and
feelings, that's when our faith rises to a higher and deeper level. and we can
do what the apostles did in Jesus' name too. drive out devils, let the blind
see, feed 5000, heal the sick, wake up the dead. yes, i saw
many healing today. and it's something i want to rmb till the day
that i die, it's a clear indication that God works, and He loves His people. He
definitely will and definitely will move. and to engage supernaturally,
God, if i try to see You with my human eyes, i guess You're still restricted by
my brokenness. but i come to You broken today, help me see You
supernaturally.
my heart broke a few days ago when i had a
real bad fight with my dad, and until now i haven't been feeling too good about
it. i seriously cannot uds why he said those mean and hurting stuffs. but then
again, im reminded of smth. being strong and independent (I guess..... haha,
okay may not be that true la) or being prideful, or being human... i try to hide
my wounds by plastering over them. i saw a heart full of plasters, and i could
put a name to every scar that i've gotten for the past 21 years. (wah, so
calculative. lol, paiseh larrr) when i have bad relapses, when im reminded of
all the pain that ive went through, wah, my world just crashed. i heal myself
by putting plasters, shoving them aside, telling myself i need to trust in God
more. then i realise, im not letting God do the work that He's best at, which
is healing and driving out all these negative emotions. i saw another heart
which is pretty much whole, pumping, it's like a good heart. there's no
plasters on it. and i don't see any scars on it too. then i realise that's my
destiny in Christ, and that's what God intended for me. but for now, He needs
to tear out those plasters ive pasted. and because some of them have been there
for a million years, it sticks better than a super glue. so it's gonna get real
painful trying to tear down all this strongholds in my life. yeah, so i do get
emotionally affected recently. but i know my help is here. and He will not
delay. Youre God, that's why i love You.