Sometimes, it gets
so hard. I stare at my surroundings and I wonder, God, what do You see in them?
Sigh, then I’m reminded, what do You see in me? Probably nothing much, driven
entirely by Your love and power that You went to the cross. Pastor Hongteck
says You came not for us to make You great. Instead, You came so that we can be
great. You saw the potential in us, and hence made it Your motivation to the
cross, so that this unleashed potential can reach its maximum impact. Man,
seriously… You don’t even know if we’d reciprocate You.
You’re so
different, sometimes I look around all I can see is faults and flaw. The worse
happens when I look within. But I know You’re with me, I cannot think this way.
Like I’m not worthy or whatsoever. Nothing puts a price tag on me because You’ve
set me free on the cross. All these insecurities and unworthiness comes from
satan. They do make me feel like I have nothing to offer to this world
sometimes, but I know that’s not true. Sometimes, he makes me feel so tired of
trying. And forces me to go into a mode of self-pity. My predicament ain’t the
worse after all. It shouldn’t destroy me if at the end of the day I didn’t
matter to them as much as they did to me. At least, they did try. And maybe that’s
enough for me. I just wana be through with this stupid nagging feeling. It gets
to me a lot, and I don’t like it. Too much time spent on negative feelings alr.
I can lose the world, but I can’t lose You. The world can lose me, but You won’t
lose me.
I know that You are
for me.