There is this image in your head. It’s sooo beautiful. Breathtaking. Awesome. Gorgeous. Whatever other nice words. Lol. It’s just so stunning that you want to illustrate to others. So you try to make a painting out of it.

Excitedly, you pull out your canvas and all other materials needed to complete this masterpiece. It wasn’t too long before you’re working at it. Everything went well at the start, it was almost a spitting image of whatever that’s in your head. So, on and on, you work.

Work. Work work work work.

Halfway through, you realized that you’ve ran out of yellow paint. And it was only this small part of the painting that required the yellow paint. Lazy to go all the way out just to get the yellow paint, you tried to mix some red and green paint together. It turned out to be yellow. But not quite the shade that you wanted. “Ahh nvm la,” you tell yourself. You’ve already tried and that’s your best alr right? Then you move onto other parts of the painting. Here and there, you were distracted by the multiple phone calls your friend was making. And she seemed pretty anxious, so you decided to multitask. Painting while chatting with her at the same time. You tried your best to balance both task. But, sometimes you still forgot that this place needed a bit more contouring, while that area needed more sculpting. But, aiyah, this is the best alr, you tell yourself again.

So situations keep cropping up here and there.

Sometimes you were a little more slipshod because the kettle was boiling. Your hands weren’t that steady because the soccer match was on. Or, you’ve ran out of some color again.

Finally, you’re done. Your masterpiece is done. You put down your paintbrush. And…. Eh? How come not quite like the thing you started off with? Some parts were obviously settled haphazardly. Some parts were obviously of the wrong color. Isn’t this part supposed to be red? Isn’t that part supposed to be sharper? Your masterpiece ended up quite different from the perfect picture you had in mind. But. Who can you blame?

Isn’t this quite like God’s idea of holiness for us?

There was this standard that He wanted us to keep. And when we first received Him into our lives, we were like “Woohoo, I’m so gonna do this. I’m so gonna overcome this and that with God. In Jesus’ name!!!” So we began out new life, living like we never lived before.

But as we walk longer with God, we realized there was a limit to things we could do. We got a little tired, a little sian. And we start to feel like, ahhh I can’t really do this. So we start to look for substitutes. Oh, I failed in leading praise and worship the other time. So I’m not gonna do that again. I’m just gonna serve holy comm, where my talent and passion intersects. Or, we got lazy. Like, I’m never gonna overcome this. This sin is going to eat me inside out. I give up fighting, God You fight for me okay. I’ll pray to You every night about it. But, I wouldn’t take any actions against it.

Hmm, right right. God totally agrees with you I guess. :/

Then in our lives, people come people go. Things happen. There will be this few people that will be able to distract you from what you began with. And yeah, you really got distracted. Or, there will this few things that will somehow override the importance of being holy in your life.

“Oh, my friends smoke, so I also smoke lor. Oh, the world is also doing this… I guess this is justified?” “Oh my friends asked me for supper, I’m so tired already. Shall do QT tml morning……”

Or you compromise the meaning of holiness in your life. Because you have so many things on hand. Work, studies, CCA, passion, chasing xiaogui….

“Aiyah I go church very good already. Why serve here, serve thereeeeeeeeeee. This is my best already.”

We try to multi-task too. Because, we see all this as tasks lo. Which shouldn’t be the case to begin with…….

So, ended up, we weren’t quite like the masterpiece God intended us to be. Cause we keep caving in. Cause we always have bigger things to do. Cause we were always too tired. Or, cause, we’ve already tried our best.

Ohwells. Not that I don’t fail in this area. Honestly, I guess I’ve failed big time in this area. Like super duper big time? Being distracted. Being lazy. All this are like my favourite pastimes.. I’m not writing this post as Miss Holy. But, just to express some thoughts about this topic we’re touching on in service and unit.

I guess when we saw the failed painting. We must have been a little disappointed. Like, WHY SO UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Imagine with me. Jay Chou had the melody to all his songs in his head. But because his girlfriend was blasting his phone all the time. Because he had to feed his pet fish. Because he had to clear the rubbish in his kitchen. He couldn’t focus to complete any of them. Or he didn’t do such a good job because of the million tasks he needs to attend to. What a waste, you would say. What an utter waste of talent.

In the same way, maybe this is how God feels when He sees us? Like, He intended us for so much more. Yet we kept failing because of our own preferences. Our own decisions. But, obviously, He wouldn’t look at us and say “sooo ugly.” LOL. Loving God FTW. He understands our sinful nature. Which is ever in conflict with this holiness that He wants us to attain.

So, I guess it all boils down to a desire? A desire to be more godly. A desire to be holy. It’s not easy ah. I can feel the struggle. Yeah, I do. Our painting may end up with smudges here and there at the end of the day. But so long as we put in our best efforts to minimize it. To give our best(really) for it. I guess, that’s more important than anything else. God can turn the smudges into something beautiful. God can cover the mistakes. We may think it’s cui, (yeah I think I’m cui) but somehow God always see the value in us. The beauty in us. Lol. Funny God… but thank You.

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I don’t really want to proclaim that I want to more holy here cause it’s so public. But I guess that’s the only way to finish this post?! LOL. So yeahhhhhhhhhh, it’s not gonna be easy I guess. But I want to be Your perfect imperfect masterpiece.

(Okay I know I need to brace myself for some challenges already. LOL)