hello world, its 340am now.. and im pretty wide awake.
its gonna be a busy day travelling tmr, but i thank God that im gonna meet the g-ers at night!
woots, can totally imagine how noisy and how hahahah "bitchy" we can get. but, yah i just love them, what are you gonna do about it. LOL. why am i qiang-ing you

oh wells, it seems like we're making things to be how they used to be before. at least for my life, especially this year. i began to hang out with friends that i thought would nvr appear in my life again. i began to do the things that i forgot that i even used to do last time. i don't know what all this will amount to be, but i only know that this 5 months have been a pretty different 5 months of my life.

first i went to taiwan, then i changed my cg, then i began serving in the programming team, then all my friends are coming back to me, and im still close to all my good friends. hahaha, i totally have to thank God for that! i know i know, this post's mood is very different from the last one. but, im not that angsty all the time okay. LOL..

i guess, it have been a period that stretched me a little. in terms of character, in terms of time mangement, in terms of the way i handle relational problems, in terms of studies, in terms of my walk with God. there have been days that i really don't know what i wake up to. why the heck am i still in NUS, why am i facing the graphs that i (still) don't understand. why am i in a meeting that's seemingly stagnant. why am i listening to all this crap. or.. why am i such a crap? why am i still here? what am i gonna do here? and where do i move on to from here?

i remember the times that i was so helpless, and i so wana just run away from everything like that. completing sem2 was a dream, it was tedious and demoralising, and i nvr have the guts to even dream that i'd pull through it. but oh wells, i somehow did. i thank God that He's still here in my life, always providing support and care. somehow, He manages to convince me that i can do it, somehow He carried me through this ____ that i don't even think i could. thank God for His mercy and grace i've been complaining sooo much that i didn't even see any good in my situation, i only gave thanks in that period, i only say thank God for God. anything else, i didn't have anything nice to say. He must be laughing at me right now, haha but it's okay, i can take His "mocking". LOL i guess i'm sorry for being too shrotsighted at times, and i really can't believe this good Friend in my life that is soveriegn enough to let me fall, and then catch me when i fall.

there are still stuffs that i'm struggling with, but i know, one day, one ultimate day, i can look back and scorn at the problem and laugh to myself how stupid can i get at times. lol, because He sticks with me. and is going stick with me throughout my life.


recently, mom suddenly said that she wants to change her job, so irrationally, she actually went to tender her resignation before confirming that she has a new one. oh oh, how faith-filled is that. LOL. but too bad, she's not a believer yet. i was pretty worried at first.

to be honest, my first thoughts were, "uh-oh, then how am i gonna support myself? not with my mere tuition fees, it's not enough to support the family........" and of course i didn't have the chance to express my immediate response, cause she told me that bro scolded her damn badly for that. lol, oh wells i knew where he's coming from, but i never understood his priority. somehow, i guess, may not be fair to him if i say it as a fact, LOL i just feel that money is above anything else to him. can't blame him for that though. so seeing that my brother is already pretty mean to her, and my neighbour is nagging at her constantly, i decided to be a nais daughter and not scold her for being irrational and everything. she wasn't enjoying her work anyways, there are just far too many mean people around that try to take advantage of her. and trust me, if i'm not a christian, i'd probably have punched them or smth. they are just so overboard sometimes, they always bullying my mom, and taking her stuffs! like zomg, how childish can adult gets! and there were severe gossips going around at her workplace, oh wells. at least it's all over now.

so at least, i think this is gonna be a new start for my mom at least. she has been working there ever since the family broke up. that was where she got used to working (she was a housewife all along) and learning how to let her 2 children take acre of themselves 9good or bad thing LOL) so she promised to work for her current boss till the end of this month, finding other job opportunities in the meantime.

so there was this 2 job offers.
one offered by her old boss is to be those aunties who help to clear dishes at the suntec foodcourt.
or to be a cleaner at some office in loyang, offered by her friend.
both has equal pay, but the one at loyang is a 5-day week, sat sun PH off. soooo obviously, which one do you take? of course the loyang job right, especially the former job is alot harder, and you get to meet anybody - mean people, nice people, fat people, thin people..........

but my mom chose the former, because she verbally promised her old boss already. i was like, okay if i were her i'd do the same thing, but because im not her, i have the liberty to scold her abit for making the seemingly stupid choice. LOL. this is the only thing that we're alike, binded severely by verbal contracts and nvr knowing when to say no. i was li,e God you gotta help her out seriously, i just don't want to see her tired, or jaded from all the workload. my mom's been poor all her life, so she could work for one month straight without off just to get the OT pay. sigh, so i started praying to God when she told me she was switching jobs. the transition wasn't a nais one, i was worried, but i did not want to express it for fear that i add on unnecessary pressure to her. there was invisible tension, and anxiousness..

she told me about the decision on sat, i was worried till sunday or monday. when God told me that He's gonna take care of it, and i seriously need to let him take control. it was hard at first, but having figured out God's character through past experiences, i guess this wasn't a tough decision. i believed He'd make a way out. and guess what? it's a fairytale ending all over again. God made a way, so the same old boss, offered my mom a better job. she's gonna be a helper at some office, with a higher payout, and most importantly at the same working environment all over again. things look good, and God is good. :) thank God. lol..

soo, yeah, after this whole saga. finally a load is off our backs :) but... i guess i haven exactly been nais to my mom, she's kinda sad about it. and i duno when is the right time to talk to her. ive been pretty snappy recently too. oh wells, she never seemed to answer the qns that im asking her. what is wrong with our communication man. sighh, okay guess i'll be waking her up at 5 ltr. see what i can do. nights world.