tin9z

2012-01-13T08:52:00.001-08:00

＂其实，你已经很幸福了。＂

看了＂星空＂那部电影，这句话最让我有感触。不是我不想安慰人，也不是因为我看不起任何人。可是，痛苦是需要经过比较的。不要一直指望我替你解决你的问题，不要一直对我有所要求。不要一直任为我对你的好是应该的。不要叫我好好保重，但却不在我身旁，不要叫我坚强，因为我已经差不多忘了什么脆弱。

＂其实，你已经很幸福了。＂为什么你们就是看不见。为什么你们一直要求别人要对你们好。为什么你就认定你就是童话故事里的公主，人人都要伺候你，为你效劳。为什么你就可以不尊重别人的看法，别人的时间。为什么你就是不会看到别人对你的好。为你做的一切。连一句＂谢谢＂都这么难吗？

我们都不是公主，也不是王子。只是活在这地球上的普通人。如果大家都能事先地替人着想，我们也许都能多快乐一点。

我写这篇文章，并不是要展现我吃过多少苦。我相信，在这世界上一定有更多更多生活环境比我困苦一万倍，甚至一千万倍的人。我只希望大家能珍惜眼前的一切，不要放大自己的需求，搞得大家都得顺从你。说真的，你没有那么重要。但你也没有那么渺小，多多为别人着想。如果有钱的话，时不时请好朋友吃饭。多多称赞别人的优点。我想，就因为你这小小的改变，你的世界会变得更快乐，更幸福。朋友们也会因此受惠。

好吧，就这样。

2011-12-24T02:31:00.001-08:00

I seriously dislike festivals.

2011-12-10T09:51:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I wish I was somebody else. Then I remember that You've created everybody different. But You love is all the same. I wish I was a lil..... then when I get to this part, there's nothing I want to change about myself. Maybe its just the phase of life I'm in. There's things I want.. but I dono if it's in Your plans to give it to me. Hence I began looking around envying other girls... I guess I should be happy being myself. I should be proud of the things I can do, and humble towards the things I can't. Yeah, I'm happy being me and thankful that You've created me this way. Yeah, gotta stop this negativity.

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2011-11-09T17:54:00.000-08:00

sometimes, in life, i think we've gotten our orders wrong. we think that we need to be able, before we can be available for God. how is it so? we think that we need to attain certain skills, meet certain requirements before we can serve God as something something. yeah true, some positions def need a certain skill requirement or something. but then again, that's not the point. we shouldn't be hindered by this thinking... God doesn't need you to be 21 - when you can think "clearer" to serve Him. God doesn't need you to be a hollywood actor, album-cutting singer or a master in speech and drama before you can serve. i think our availability towards God is more important to Him than our skills. if you're willing to give it time and effort, what makes it impossible for you to attain the skill that's relevant? haha..

some of us struggle with it because we think that God is an angry God.. we need to be whatever before we can serve Him.. but it is written.

Hebrews 4:16a
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,

Philippians 4:13

New International Version (NIV)

¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

and some of us, we know it. and we're just using it as an excuse to defer our term of serving God. maybe it's time to abandon all these things, start seeing how real God is in our lives and in your friends' lives and make a choice to draw nearer to Him and putting Him first.

and some other times, we have this stupid concept about friendships that we start sharing first to get comfortable with each other.. hmm, am i the weird one or is this really not the way? nobody does that, right? at least not in my world.. people usually get comfortable with each other before they start sharing deep stuffs? it gets forced whenever we have to start sharing just to get comfortable. i mean, there're definitely times we have to sacrifice, to get out of our comfort zone to have that lil breakthrough in friendships.. hmm, i guess i may not be entirely right. haha and im losing my point. so just saying...

2011-10-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

It's funny how sometimes we think we're good enough to control certain areas of our lives. Then when things start to go wrong, we run to God and beg Him to make things easier.. Sometimes I'm surprised at how selfish and stupid I can get. But then again, why should I be? Because I'm a human as well.

There's one thing that never fails to surprise me. That would be Your love. How You see all my weaknesses and yet choose to love me. How You know that tomorrow may be another day that I would live without You, yet You still allow me to wake up every morning. Your grace is overwhelming, and the way You love... its really crazy. I cannot comprehend the depth of it, but I know it's really very deep. God, I love You.

2011-10-23T04:46:00.001-07:00

Reading a bookabout surrendering. It’s a book about paradoxes. Barely one chapter into thebook, the author writes about true strength being found in weaknesses. And youcan only stop when you realized that you can’t stop. Things that challenges howwe’ve perceived this world to begin with.

I could almostalways relate to him, he grew up pretty much like me. And he pinpointed out thestuffs that I thought… I never had to deal with? I never knew I was dealingwith shame, that’s why I never thought highly of myself before. I never knewthe lack of love in the environment I grew up in had such a big impact on me,until I read this book. And also, until I really sit down and think about how I’vetreating the people around me and how I’ve really thought about myself.

Hmm, I’m amazed atthose who saw who I really am, yet chose to stick by me willingly. I’m thankfulyet at the same time fearful. And God You’re one of them, and probably the mostimportant of them. It kills me to know that I’m still such a mess even after solong. Rage and anger is still something that I couldn’t control. But, I shouldn’tbe the one that’s controlling them. You should be the one.

There’s so manythings I want to say, but I don’t know how to pen them down properly. Lol. But Irealized reading really liberates me, and I aim to finish reading theChristianity rack in Bedok library. Haha, have been going there for the pasttwo weeks. Hopefully, I can do it!

Okay, random post. Butyeah. Hehe.

Share with you guyssomething funny, today at kinders we asked the kids.

So, where do milkcome from?

COW!!! COW!!!CCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! (you know the kids. Haha)

Okay, very smart! Sowhere do coffee come from?

(silence) (murmursof weird answers haha) FOOD COURT

HAHAHAHAHA I ALMOSTPENG-ED. But it’s seriously funny. First world kids. Coffee comes from coffeebeans J

2011-10-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

To have lil kids fluttering around you, hugging you, sitting on your lap is sucha blessing every sunday. I don't think I deserve to be their leader, or even worthy enough to teach them Your truth. But thank You for giving me the chance, and teaching me new stuffs along the way. Watching them grow up is really sucha joy. I wouldn't give anything in the world for it. Their innocence taught me faith to believe in a God that we cannot see. These are young minds, which should only be able to comprehend things that are tangible. Yet they know about Your existence, not because we keep talking about You and drilling it into their head. I believe they feel You and that they really know You. And, this is faith. To believe in something and someone unseen. And I see myself a little clearer every sunday. I used to not know how to relate to God as a Father. Maybe my earthly relationship with my earthly father has gotten in the way one way or another, but nonetheless I love my earthly father as well. Haha. I used to fear Him. Maybe to an unhealthy extent. Whenever I do gravely wrong, I couldn't really believe someone would forgive me just like that. As in, you mean you really don't have to do anything? Even after apologising, sometimes the guilt remains. On bad days, it resonates. It keeps telling me that I have to work harder to get rid of that particular sin in my life because God hates it. And if He hates it, He hates me doing it.. And maybe because of that something in His plans for me would be changed and I would be shortchanged because of that! Oh woah, what a seed that the devil has planted in my mind. Try harder liting, try harder. But tell you what, you may not be able to get through in the end because you always fail. And God is not gonna like it.

Yeah, and that was what I thought for a long long time. God doesn't like it, and I gotta stop doing it. Yes that is true. But we forgot about one thing, God loves us unconditionally as well. He hates our sins, but He will never forsake us just because we sinned. And He will forgive us as long as we are sincere about repenting. Okay note here, this is not your passport to sin as and when you like. We've gotta be sincere, and by repenting we mean that we're not gonna do it again. And yes, sometimes on bad days the devil will get me, and I will slip into some bad habits again. Then I would start beating myself up, I think the guilt is neccessary. Like, for us to feel bad for what we did because we've sinned against God. David mourned and cried out to God after he has sinned right? I guess its normal and I think its perfectly fine to feel bad about it. But I don't think it's okay if we feel guilty about it perpetually, a feeling which lingered in my life for far too long sometimes.

As I look at those children, I got a glimpse of the way You look at me. Sometimes when the children are misbehaving, we would be a little firmer towards them, and we would refuse to give in to what they want because that isn't what they need. If they really cross the line, we would probably be alot more stern towards them than usual, telling them where they've gone wrong and what they should be doing instead. But once they get it, we would also tell them that we still love them and its because of this love hence sometimes it seems like we're being mean to them. And we would never bear any grudges against them, or blame them for being such naughty kids. Because we know the nature of kids right! If they don't misbehave in one way or another, today or tomorrow, I think maybe we have something else to worry about. Haha. Yep, probably that's what You have been doing towards me all the time. Chiding me, reprimanding me whenever I've done wrong. Practising Your tough love sometimes because stupid me just never seemed to get it. But You will never bear a grudge against me, You know how fallible I am, and how powerful You are. You will always love me for who I am, but You love me too much to leave me the way I am now. Thank You. Thank You for everything You've given me. Thank You for always loving me and giving me second chances. Most importantly, thank You for being God. Thank You for being the One who is always beside me.

Sometimes, I'd feel so bad that I need You in my life... because I need You? Like, in the end, it's kinda.. selfish? Because I'm the one that's gaining in the relationship, You're always like the one that's losing out. But I know, You love me too much to calculate all this. Yeah, random thoughts. So I wana start appreciating You more. Not because of the things You've given me, but because of Your very presence in my life.

2011-10-12T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 12:5-13

⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
   “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
   and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
   and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]
⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ¹³ “Make level paths for your feet,”^[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

2011-10-12T07:26:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, it getsso hard. I stare at my surroundings and I wonder, God, what do You see in them?Sigh, then I’m reminded, what do You see in me? Probably nothing much, drivenentirely by Your love and power that You went to the cross. Pastor Hongtecksays You came not for us to make You great. Instead, You came so that we can begreat. You saw the potential in us, and hence made it Your motivation to thecross, so that this unleashed potential can reach its maximum impact. Man,seriously… You don’t even know if we’d reciprocate You.

You’re sodifferent, sometimes I look around all I can see is faults and flaw. The worsehappens when I look within. But I know You’re with me, I cannot think this way.Like I’m not worthy or whatsoever. Nothing puts a price tag on me because You’veset me free on the cross. All these insecurities and unworthiness comes fromsatan. They do make me feel like I have nothing to offer to this worldsometimes, but I know that’s not true. Sometimes, he makes me feel so tired oftrying. And forces me to go into a mode of self-pity. My predicament ain’t theworse after all. It shouldn’t destroy me if at the end of the day I didn’tmatter to them as much as they did to me. At least, they did try. And maybe that’senough for me. I just wana be through with this stupid nagging feeling. It getsto me a lot, and I don’t like it. Too much time spent on negative feelings alr.I can lose the world, but I can’t lose You. The world can lose me, but You won’tlose me.

I know that You arefor me.

2011-10-11T07:05:00.001-07:00

This is gonna be aweary post. Sigh, I kinda got injured today. And seriously God, physical damageis much more welcomed. Lol. There was some bad exchange between me and mybrother today. And I kinda lost it. As in, emotionally. I didn’t explode orwhatever. But seriously, I’m tired.

Sometimes I askmyself, how many times am I going to subject myself to this? How many times do Iwana put them first and get so hurt after that because I know that I’m nevergonna be first? Notice that I didn’t even use second because I kinda doubt Ican be second either. All those nasty words, if I didn’t try, maybe I wouldn’tget so upset afterall.
A lot of emotions flooded me today… I began to hate the way I’m being broughtup, I begin to hate the way they’ve been treating me. I begin to hate the waythey’ve shaped me to be. I hate the way they see me yet I can’t bear to do thesame to them. I begin to get angry. Then I start to get angry because of thefact that I’m getting angry. I hate being angry. But… I wana curb it. If notfor them, I may been a little more secure. If not for them, I would have been alittle less angry. If not for them, I would have been… that’s all I could thinkof. Sigh, all I asked was something small and yet he just had to be mean.

But, it’s over. WhileI’m getting so upset, he doesn’t even care. Why should I waste so much effortcrying here? Nobody seemed to understand anyways, but I know You do. I don’tknow why this is still happening, and I don’t know how long more it’s gonnacontinue. But I guess You have a plan. It kills me a little whenever I give myall yet it’s never enough. And it hurts me even more whenever I see peopleleading such comfortable lives. But I know everybody has their own struggles,no comparing there liting.

I don’t know whatto say, but I know that You are for me.

2011-10-04T10:42:00.001-07:00

Overheard at antmcycle 16:

Tyra: You know whatpeople with abandonment issues always do?

Molly: Yeah,sabotage. Push the limits…

Tyra: Yeah,exactly. To test whether these people are gonna leave them in the end.

Molly: Yeah, butthey didn’t. They are the best people I’ve ever met.

2011-10-02T09:29:00.001-07:00

Something triggeredmy thoughts today. Say, a friend of mine is stumbled or jaded because ofsomething, and therefore jeopardizing their walk with God. Sometimes, or maybeall the time, I used to blame all these people around him/her. I’m like, whycan’t you lead your life properly. Why can’t you stop being such a hypocrite. Whycan’t they this, why can’t they that. Why must you do this to my friend. Then Irealized, it’s nobody’s fault at all. Everybody has choices, and.. who am I toblame anybody? Who am I to say who is not doing their job. I guess and I believeGod will judge eventually. We can choose to stumble, and we can also choose notto be stumbled. Either ways, everybody’s responsible. Or nobody is. what afallen world. What a stupid thinking liting.

Maybe I’m toocritical about too many things. We learnt about being blameless yesterday. It struckme that everybody’s standards are different although we all aim to have that ofGod’s. For me, there’re totally some taboos and some lines I would never cross.But for some people, it may not seem wrong to them at all. Then what do I do? Sometimes,I don’t know. I just know I have to keep my stand, and not do the things that I’muncomfortable with. Or the things that will stumble me.

Random thought: Myfallenness pinned Jesus to the cross. But His power resurrected Him and savedmy life. It’s never about me, if it was, I’d be the one on the cross instead. Andtalking about self-control.. yeah I need that. the marshmallow test is happeningevery period of our lives…

2011-09-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

³³ Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and^[a] knowledge of God!
   How unsearchable his judgments,
   and his paths beyond tracing out!
³⁴ “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
   Or who has been his counselor?”^[b]
³⁵ “Who has ever given to God,
   that God should repay them?”^[c]
³⁶ For from him and through him and for him are all things.
   To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Romans 12

A Living Sacrifice

¹ Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. ² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

this verse keeps appearing in my life recently. been reading joyce meyer's battlefield of the mind. guess i missed the focus today again. sigh, shall not beat myself over it because imperfect human like me will surely fail. its about picking it up again and renewing it again. man may not give me second chance, but i guess i can always try again with God.

2011-09-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

阿信在blog說;
'''OAOA是嬰兒的啼哭，是摩天輪的樣子，是太陽與山脈的形狀，是對著空谷的吶喊，
是沒有語言的希望，是在風裡面寫下此刻自己的呼喊......。
你的OAOA和我不同，但我們還是可以唱同一首OAOA。''''

就四个简单的字母，他竟然可以有这么不同的看法。

凭自己相信什么，不稀相信什么，就能写出人们心坎里的感觉。阿信真的很强。

他相信的我也相信。

我相信苦涩的眼泪
我不信甜美的誓言
我相信音乐就该音乐

**
我相信爱情的纯粹
我不信华丽的诗篇
我相信热烈的争辩
我不信无声的和谐

***
我相信秒秒的瞬间
我不信年年的永远
我相信摇滚就能万岁

[Chorus]
快张开你的嘴 OAOA
再不管你是谁 OAOA
人生都太短暂
别想别怕别後退
现在就是永远
出生的那一年 OAOA
转眼就这一天 OAOA
人生都太短暂
去疯去爱去浪费
和我再唱 OA OAOA

我相信人需要的不是成功，而是一种信念，一个梦想。

需要的是能放纵地追逐自己想要，还有一群勇于参与这份追逐的朋友。

\m/ 我相信摇滚就能万岁 \m/

2011-09-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

有时，要我怎么说。
我会哭，是因为在乎。
i dono how to put it across, but i really just want everybody to be happy. who am i to judge. who am i to hate. i only wana be there.

2011-09-10T10:08:00.000-07:00

1 Timothy 1:14-16

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁴ The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
¹⁵ Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. ¹⁶ But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

haha, paul i think i can fight with you being the worst sinner in this entire world. how many times have i failed You. how many times have i failed the expectations of the people around me. and self-righteously think that im justified for doing so. how many times, i point fingers at people, just because ive given myself far too much credit for having tried my best for them. and how many times, have i let all this stupid emotions get into my stupid mind. and how many times have i done stupid things because of it. i cannot let Satan keep doing this to me, and i need to stop need this to others. so this time, im not gonna say im sorry. im gonna show that i am. things may get harder, but i guess i need to learn that my dependence should be on God alone.

im sorry, i know i keep hurting you. and i guess time and God would be the best healer for now.

2011-09-08T09:19:00.001-07:00

"'I was thinking, all the while, I love you. I have been obstinate.'

...

When she walked home with him over the fields, he said:

'I am glad I came back to you. I feel so simple with you -- as if there was nothing to hide. We will be happy?'

'Yes,' she murmured, and tears came to her eyes.

'Some sort of perversity in our souls,' he said, 'makes us not want, get away from, the very thing we want. We have to fight against that.'"

-- Excerpt from D.H. Lawrence's 'Sons and Lovers'

2011-09-03T07:43:00.001-07:00

Whenever I see Samuelchair cry, I feel like crying too. Am I crazy?

2011-09-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

Girls. We sometimes willingly go through physical pain just to look a tad more beautiful. Facials.. (you know how much that hurts.) Slimming. Dieting. All this nonsense. And some if us, if we take it to another level. We dont mind having some botox injected. Some of our flesh cut and having some other stuffs introduced to our bodies. Why, then some of us are so afraid of going through the pain of being tested by God in order to become a more beautiful person in Christ. Why do we reject it so much.. Why are we so afraid of it in the first place.

We all know ita gonna be good. Its gonna be beneficial. Its gonna turn our alright at the back of our minds. Yet, the fear deterred us from having full faith in God. Haha emotional beings. Sigh.

I came up with this story myself. Lol i dono if its gonna make sense but i shall try. Many of us, wants to be that beautiful butterfly fluttering around in the sky. Having the whole world envious of what we have. But sometimes we forget that all butterflies start from a caterpillar. And, if im not wrong. Caterpillars arent exactly good-looking. But guess what, its color allows it to be camouflage and hence protect it from its predators. Probably this is what some of us need right now. Instead of those beautiful colors, we need God's protection. We need to hide under that "ugly" skin so that we are able to grow properly. And some of us understands that. So we go around telling other caterpillars that we are gonna be beautiful one day. Like, really beautiful you know? Keep the faith. We are gonna get there some day. But some of our caterpillar friends dont believe in that. Look, how long is that gonna take? And i can barely recognise the butterflies, are you sure they came from us? Im ugly. And probably im gonna stay like this forever. Im not going to believe in tat. And how painful would it be to go through such a big change..

That got you a lil demoralised. Are what they said true?? You thought you saw real transformations before.... Are they just pure miracles?
As you wonder, you begin to grow into a pupa (which is even uglier than caterpillar) your faith shook like never before. Whats going on in me, you ask.. Your unbelieving friends look on and said, see i told you. Now youre worse than before. In this moment, lost is the perfect word to describe you. You cry but nobody hears. You pray but there is no answer. What is going on?!?!?

There is no turning back. You feel trapped being in that stuck-ey position.... And one day.. You begin to moult and shed some of your ugly skin. You feel like ure being liberated from smth. Colors begin to appear. Your wings emerged. Guess what. Youre able to fly while the others watch on in their ugly skins.....

What im trying to say is... Keep the faith. All of us are destined to be butterflies. In God's plans all of us are supposed to soar, to fly, to be beautiful. Dont let the pain ever get you to compromise on what youre supposed to have. Its gonna be painful. But its gonna be worth it. And what youre gonna lose is your ugly useless skins. Exchange it for a colorful suit to flaunt! Just like the furnace which tests the silver. God tests our hearts. So tat you can be the butterfly you are supposed to be. During the whole metamorphosis, God will do His work. We don't have to do anything, but to go through it with hearts yielding to Him, having faith in Him. Yeahh it's hard i know.. Some of us dont believe in God. Some of us have left the faith. I may be looking worse than youre now, that's why you're not convinced. But daily im being renewed. Give me the time to show you that i can be the butterfly too. And pls recognise me. Because youre recognising the power of God.

Haha. Thanks for making it thus far. I dono how meaningful this story is but one thing I know is my bad angmoh. So it really mean something to me having you tahan until here. Xie le! :)

2011-08-31T08:38:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 2

Moral Benefits of Wisdom

¹ My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
² turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,
³ and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
⁴ and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
⁵ then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
⁶ For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
⁷ He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
⁸ for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.

⁹ Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

God doesn't need my help, I need His.

2011-08-29T11:06:00.001-07:00

Exodus 14:1-14

New International Version (NIV)

Exodus 14

¹ Then the LORD said to Moses, ² “Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. They are to encamp by the sea, directly opposite Baal Zephon. ³Pharaoh will think, ‘The Israelites are wandering around the land in confusion, hemmed in by the desert.’ ⁴ And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD.” So the Israelites did this.

⁵ When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds about them and said, “What have we done? We have let the Israelites go and have lost their services!” ⁶ So he had his chariot made ready and took his army with him. ⁷ He took six hundred of the best chariots, along with all the other chariots of Egypt, with officers over all of them. ⁸ The LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh king of Egypt, so that he pursued the Israelites, who were marching out boldly. ⁹ The Egyptians—all Pharaoh’s horses and chariots, horsemen^[a] and troops—pursued the Israelites and overtook them as they camped by the sea near Pi Hahiroth, opposite Baal Zephon.

¹⁰ As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. ¹¹ They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? ¹²Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”

¹³ Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. ¹⁴ The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

2011-08-29T08:09:00.001-07:00

our favourite qns to God. "why?"

His favourite answer to us, "you'll see. i have a plan."

seriously, sometimes i wonder why did i even bother to ask. haha. man, You win.

2011-08-25T04:40:00.000-07:00

There’s this person who brings out the worst in me. He showed me that there’s this side of myself that I didn’t know. I’m not as good as I think I am. I can get emotional and demanding at times, and probably even self-righteous as I think people should give me credit for what I’ve given ‘silently’. Sorry for always pissing you off. Sorry for always not saying the stuffs I should, and saying the stuffs I shouldn’t. Thanks for always being my friend. Thanks for allowing me to be this cui.

God, do Your work in me. And this is amazingly aligned with what I read from ODB today.

2 Cor 12:9

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The above was said by Paul. Liting, it’s okay to be weak, just gotta learn from your stupid mistakes. : )

2011-08-19T09:50:00.001-07:00

why then, do I live as if God is not real in my life? :(

2011-08-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

因为我不是那种伤心会找人求救的女生。
因为我不会装可怜。
因为我什么事情都亲力亲为...

这，是我的错吗？

2011-08-08T09:11:00.003-07:00

Strength within.. Character. Who still looks at them this days?
Don't say you do. Bullshit.

2011-08-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

The tough part of being a Christian leader. You gotta understand how human man can get, but you gotta remember how big our God is.

2011-07-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

From Prof Thio Li-ann: When you’re younger you’d probably ask God, “Why me?” and as we grow and mature, we begin to ask God another question instead. “Why not me?”

I tell you, nobody has hit the bullseye this accurate in my life before. This are the exact questions that I’ve been asking God all my life. during my teenage years, probably up to JC. I kept asking God, why me? Why me? Why is it always me? Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to do that? Why do I always get the shittiest role in your great plans?!

Then I start to see why. Have you ever had the feeling that you’re born different? I mean, like really different. Not in the mutant manner. But like, you know there’s something within you that’s different from anybody that’s walking down the street.

Ohwells, it may sound abit funny. But, I’ve probably felt this way my whole life? Okay, maybe not my whole life, but ever since I’m sensible. Like when I know how to differentiate right from wrong.

I knew I was different. Maybe because I can do some stuffs better than others, and of course some normal stuffs worse than others. But the main reason why I knew I was different was because of God’s providence and protection in my life. He never left me throughout all these years. He was so real, and He was always beside me. It’s as if He had a reason for everything that’s happening in my life. And no matter how bad the situations are, looking back. They always made sense. Because He was the writer of my life, He holds my yesterday, today and of course tomorrows. He carried me through everything, love me despite circumstances. Protected me from all the evil paths that I could have taken.

He put something different in me. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. But I just know, it’s different. He probably put an extra dosage of emotions in me when He made me. That made me a bit more compassionate than others, of course, a lot more easily provoked emotionally than normal.

After I moved on from the “why me?” stage, I went on to ask Him, why not me? Why am I not the one that’s born this way or that way then I can serve You better? Why can’t have I this or that, then it’d be easier for me to serve You? I crave for all the things that I didn’t get. Because there’s this stupid thinking in me that I would be better off with them, and of course, acting yi ge spiritual, I can serve God a lot better with them. But how sure am I?

To be brutally honest, sometimes I’m just so envious of them girls who have it all. Rich background, sheltered conditions, good grades, charming personality… Like seriously, have it all? Like, God, have You forgotten about me?!?!?! Like some people are just born luckier than me. Or, should I say, most?

Sometimes I really wish I’m one of them. No offence, but like the saddest thing in my life that I’ve to struggle with is to be more sensitive to my friends. That’s like, !??! (Okay…. Sounding abit too honest.)

Changing mode!

Of course, as I said, that’s a stupid thinking. How would I learn how to serve God better in abundance if I can’t even serve God in my poverty? One thing I learn from these 21 years of my life – if you can’t give when you’ve little, you’ll definitely not give when you have a lot. It’s no big words, but it’s really a basic principle that I’ve been holding onto in my life. I want to serve God more, but I’ve gotta do it the liting way. The way God has planned it to be.“Why not me?” – why am I not the one that’s serving today… why am I not up there today? I mean it’s good to have a desire to want to be up there and stuff liting. But you have got to do it the liting way! God has a different plan for everybody. Cliché as it may sound, but there’s only one truth. And this is the truth. That’s why we keep repeating it. God has a different plan for everybody.

And again, God owned me again today. Mr Chew Chor Meng said in his testimony not to count our losses when it comes to our lives. Because what we got from God is soooo much more than what we’ve ‘lost’. Like, seriously. What’s all this little things that I’ve lost as compared to gaining a new life. A friend, a father, a mentor, a leader, a savior who had come to died for me. Liting, sometimes I really think you’re really dumb. Who am I to tell God that, eh God this is seriously unfair blah blah blah blah. Yeah, unfair as it is. Was it fair when God sent His one and only perfect Son to die for sinners like me?

Talk about fairness, Jona Yu.

Sigh, and yes this is kinda a continuation from the last last post! Life’s never exactly fair, we just gotta remember who God is in our lives and trust in His character. He sees everything. Including my hidden sins that all you people don’t see, and He said that He’d reward and punish accordingly.

Yeah God, why not me? I want to be there as well. But I want to do it the way You would have done it in my life. Let me not set my standards according to other people’s lives, but by what You really want to do with mine.

2011-07-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

Matthew 6:9-13

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

⁹ “This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.^[a]’

2011-07-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

oh how I've let You down...... who am I to say that You should do this or that for me. Sorry God.

2011-07-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

I shall attempt to put my thoughts into words.

Sometimes, I look at life and all I can say to God is … “it’s kinda unfair, isn’t it?” and it was increasingly hard to reconcile this facts in my life recently. But I know that there’s no room for bitterness to set in. cause once you allow it to grow in your heart, that’s it.

Ever had that feeling that you’re born different from the rest? Like, somehow you know what to do better than others, and somehow you’re expected to deliver more than others? I don’t know. I had that feeling most of the time. Okay, maybe not the better than others part, but definitely the different part.

This is the part of my life where I feel that nothing is going right. And probably, sometimes, allow me to complain, nothing seems to go really right. Then this time, unspiritual liting would look around her friends’ lives and start wondering……

Why is it that they are leading better lives than me? Why am I having such a hard time? Why some people are just born luckier?

And. That’s….. unfair.

I’ve got to admit, there was this certain point that I really got a little affected by it. Then somehow, God remind me of the parable of the talents. A had 1, B had 2, C had 5.

“You see, the way you distribute already so unfair already what. How can you only give 1 to A then 5 to C?”

But I was wrong. The point here is not about how many talents God has given you, which I was so caught up in. The point here is – are you faithful with the talents that are in your hands? If you have one, you’re faithful, God will give you one more! Then you’ll have 2. LITING THEN YOU’LL HAVE 2!!! Then aren’t you on par with B already?! Then if you continue to be faithful with two, God will multiply, then you will have 4! And the multiplication goes on….

I mean, on the flip side of the story, I can always still choose to complain that even if I was faithful, I will only be on par with B. I was endowed with B initially. And worse, if B was faithful with his/hers, I would still have lesser! And so no matter how faithful I am, I will still have lesser because of where I started from.

Okay liting you can continue to indulge in this thinking and yes, you will always be in lack. How about this? Christianity is not so much of looking to your side, but more of looking upwards. Looking upwards to your heavenly Father, what He can do through your life, and what He has given you from where you are. No doubt, it sounds a little unfair. You can be emotional about it here and there, you can really think its unfair… But God will bring you through this. He can give you so much more than you already had and bring you to places where you are supposed to be if you would allow Him to. It's not about having a bed of roses, but going through and working through life with whatever we have with our Lord who loves us deeply.

Sometimes I get a little too calculative that I forgot what this whole deal is about. Then I’d start to get cranky. It’s not about what I have or what I don’t have. Yeah, I do get jealous and sian sometimes when I see people who seems to have it easier. But I guess at the end of the day, I have God. I have a healthy body, I have a decent education. I can sing, move around, jump, run, hop whatever. I can speak, I can talk. I have friends. My parents are still around. I have a dream. And yeah, I have God… : )

Someone who is always there for me at the end of the day. And someone who knows me inside out, and I know in His timing, everything would be okay. It’s always about You, not me.

2011-07-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 4:1-3

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

Ephesians 4

Unity in the Body of Christ

¹ As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³ Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

2011-07-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The bible really covers everything. :') thank You Lord.

2011-07-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had this feeling?

Like sometimes I hate my own sinfulness, I don't why I have to do some things, say some stuffs, feel in a certain manner. Then the thought that You've failed the Lord's way gets to you, and you start feeling even worse than you initially had. Like, why are you still struggling with this even after sooooo long? Hadn't God gave you enough chances? And didn't you promise that you wouldn't commit it again?

Than I'd probably go down an emotional spiral, start feeling from bad to worse. Insecurities and guilt would start setting in. Worse, then legalism within me would be triggered. Maybe something bad happened after, I'd start thinking that actually I deserved such a treatment. Because I did this, it's normal that I would get that right?

But because I've failed so many times, and had asked for God's forgiveness so many times. I came to realize that I've gotta stop indulging in this personal defeat. Stop looking at it and magnifying on it. (But work still needs to be done here) Don't let the emotions of "not-being-perfect" overwhelm you, liting.

Today I'm reminded that in the bible, which of the characters being used by God is perfect? None! Some may even struggle with them same issues as us. But what I'm trying to say is that God can still use us even though we're not perfect. And the fact that we can never be perfect. Not trying to say we should just emulate the weaknesses of the characters in the bible and just sit and slack our lives away. But to realize and accept that God loves us in whatever state that we are, and He'll help us through.

Lord, I know I'm not perfect. I'm far from perfect. But i want to be more like You. But, sometimes I don't know where to start from because there are so many areas in my life that I feel that I'm not good enough at. Please help me through. Please change my heart. Allow my mouth to speak of encouraging words. Allow my eyes to see the brokenness of others, and my heart to have the compassion of Yours upon them. Allow my hands to do Your work, and my feet to go the distance for You. Let Your peace fall on me, Amen.

2011-07-03T05:15:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 8:1-9

2 Corinthians 8

Generosity Encouraged

¹ And now, brothers, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. ² Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. ³ For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, ⁴ they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints. ⁵ And they did not do as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us in keeping with God’s will. ⁶ So we urged Titus, since he had earlier made a beginning, to bring also to completion this act of grace on your part. ⁷ But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us^[a]—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.

⁸ I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. ⁹ For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.

Proverbs 3:5-6

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.^[a]

2011-07-03T04:43:00.001-07:00

At the end of it all.. Friends will be friends. Boyfriends will be boyfriends. Family will be family. They have their own function, they own role to play.
A friend can’t play the role of family ultimately. What’s the point of making it work when all the hurts are done? And you know that it’s gonna happen again.
Tyranny wins. Always and forever.
Sometimes, I feel so suppressed. Like so suppressed. Maybe I’m at my breaking point. God is my only comfort.
I’m mustering every ounce of faith I have within me to trust in Him who can make things right.

you are my world

2011-07-03T01:44:00.000-07:00

My Father I adore you more than 
Anything my heart could wish for
I just want you 
And Jesus my beloved Saviour 
Everything I have I owe to You 
I owe it all to you 
And angels come and adore You
And we Your children worship You 
Chorus:                                                                                             
You are my world,  You are my God
and I lay down my life for You
You are my Lord 
The one I love
No one could ever take your place

Verse 2:                                                                   
And everything I have I give to You my Lord the One I live for
I live for You
All my days are gifts from You
I pray I’d use them as You want me to
Use them for You

2011-07-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

You’re so mean. Just so mean.

tired of fighting.

2011-06-29T09:35:00.001-07:00

Is it always like this? Being nice to somebody until they realize that you’re really nice to them, until they learn how to stop being mean to you, until they know that you’re really for them and not against them? I think so. I mean, that’s what Jesus did right?

Even when we chose to go against Him, spoke bad about Him, hurled insults at Him. He chose to love us, He chose to give us everything, He chose to wait on us, He chose to wait for us, He chose to give His best for us. So, before I start thinking that I had the worst in this world, I think I need to take a look at my Savior.

Truth be told, I didn’t really have a good night today. Got greeted by vulgarities and whatnot for nothing. Sometimes I don’t see the point of being nice to some people anymore. I offered help, but that’s not what they want. Grrr. At that moment, I was really like fuming. Seriously. I’m a little disappointed in how the world works sometimes. But I guess this really shouldn’t stop me from moving forward, and stop me from doing what God would have done if He’s here.

Thanks for making me a fighter. And, I would still choose to see the good amidst all this.

People can take you down, but they can’t take you out. It’s your choice to stay in the game.

(HAHAHAHA, LIKE A ZAI AH THE LAST SENTENCE.)

2011-06-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

I love You Jesus.

2011-06-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 30:8-10

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

⁸ Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
⁹ Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.

2011-06-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

Psalm 117

¹ Praise the LORD, all you nations;
extol him, all you peoples.
² For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.

Praise the LORD.

Have you praised the Lord today? For you being able to live, breathe and move. For you being able to see your loved ones, and your loves ones being able to see you. For having enough to eat, wear and spend? For having such a great laughter with your friends? For the trouble/bad stuff so that there's always an opportunity for miracles to take place?

Thank You God, for giving me all of the above, and everything else that I need. :)

2011-06-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

Haha, random thought. When I'm not vv familiar with some people, I tend to speak in a zuozuo-accented chinese which sounds a tad too formal. HAHA. HOPE NOBODY CATCH ME ON THIS.

SHI BU SHI!

2011-06-16T08:53:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought I was doing good, thank You for showing me my weaknesses and how much more I need to grow in. I can never be perfect, but I know I’m blessed by You. Thank You, for loving me so much and believing in me.

Sorry for the things that I didn’t do right, thank You for forgiving me. It means a lot.

When I begin to count my losses, I'll forever be in deficit, I'll forever be in lack. I'll forever be not good enough, and I'll never be happy. But when I shift my eyes onto the cross, I see hope, I see what I've gained because of You. I see You, the One who lay down His life for me. I think that's the best thing I can ever gain in this world.

Love You.

Tear Down The Wall

2011-06-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed?
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this

And I dont need to see it to believe it
I dont need to see it to believe it
Cause I cant shake this
Fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
Its all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You

tear down these walls within my heart oh Lord. let not the shoe tell the feet how much more it can grow.

1 Corinthians 13:1-4

¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

2011-06-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Was ranting to God about the things I didn’t get to do or enjoy given my situation. I really envy those who seemed to ‘have it all’. Good grades, good face, good skin, good family…… and I always wonder why I don’t have them.

So I was just sharing my thoughts with my HJM today. Telling her sometimes how I feel that life is so unfair. Even if I work hard, sometimes I don’t get what I want. Or, I have to work hard just to get what I want while people who are ‘sheltered’ just get their way all the time.

MEGA SHORT-SIGHTED I KNOW.

I guess, when we count our losses, we will always be in deficit. Always. When I work hard for what I want, God grows as a person. And that’s what some ‘sheltered’ people don’t get. There’s this saying that goes something like, a good sailor is trained in a storm, right? Haha, I guess sometimes I’m just tired of the pruning and the repetition of some root problems in my life.

I even said that if we were to struggle anyways, I’d rather be struggling when I have a lot, than to struggle with nothing at all. But now, after settling my thoughts, I’d rather be struggling without having anything, because that’s when I cling onto God the tightest. I don’t have anyone else, and I won’t have anyone else. And I guess, that’s incomparable to anything else in this world.

Let me not get tired of chasing You, of doing what You want me to do even when it gets real tiring. Whatever I don’t have, I’ll commit it to prayer. And whatever I have, I’ll keep praying for them. I’ll do the things I want to do someday somehow. I’ll go travelling. I’ll work for it. I’ll stop thinking that I’m not privileged because I’m not as 'blessed'. Because I am. Turning this envy into something more useful. Haha.When God blessed you, He loves you. When He doesn't, He loves you even more.

This is just sparked off by some family issues again. I always wonder when this will come to an end, but I guess it won’t because God is using it to make me become a better person all the time. I shall not give up because He is more interested in whom I'm gonna become, rather than what are the things I'm gonna get in this life.

more than Amazing

2011-06-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

You're the one who walked on water
And You calmed the raging seas
You command the highest mountains
To fall upon their knees
You're the one who welcomed sinners
And You opened blinded eyes
You restored the brokenhearted
And You brought the dead to life

Forgetting all our sins
You remember all Your promises

You are amazing
More than amazing
Forever our God
You're more than enough
You are amazing

With authority You've spoken
And You've set the captive free
You're the King who came to serve
And You're the God who washed our feet
You're the one who took our burdens
And You bled upon the cross
In your kindness and Your mercy
You became the way for us

Forgetting all our sins
You remember all Your promises

You are amazing
More than amazing
Forever our God
You're more than enough
You are amazing
More than amazing
Forever our God
You're more than enough

Oh how marvelous
Oh how wonderful
Oh how glorious
You are amazing
Oh how marvelous
Oh how wonderful
Oh how glorious You are

You are amazing
More than amazing
Forever our God
You're more than enough

2011-06-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

““Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”” Psalm 46:10 NIV

Proverbs 24:3-4

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

³ By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
⁴ through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures.

I won't move until God moves. I need You more.

2011-06-10T09:20:00.001-07:00

Come home?

2011-06-10T08:05:00.001-07:00

1 Timothy 1:12-17
¹⁵ Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. ¹⁶ But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. ¹⁷ Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

2011-06-08T09:34:00.001-07:00

Okay, I'm missing the kinders kids alr....... :( not gonna see them for this coming sunday too. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ian jadyn gabriel thaddeus ashley jiaen denicia gladys samuel amos timothy sheldon.............

WAIT FOR ME! i'll make money and buy sweets for you!!!!!!

2011-06-08T09:25:00.001-07:00

Just came back from some bonding session with the CAC House-mates. : ) We went skating since Roy (the house head) is in the skating club. It’s quite fun, just that I looked real clumsy and stupid. Haha, but I enjoyed myself. Haha, okay lar, sidenote. There’s this really cute-looking evanyo lookalike in the skate club, and he’s the president to be. Definitely a mood booster yeah? Hahah. Okay okay.

Back to the topic, the people are really nice and friendly, though we (the church people) had acted quite irresponsibly to them before. Like, not paying for the camp fees on time. Ohwell, mega sorry! Will try to make it for future events as much as I can without interfering with my special sems. And I really find it interesting to meet new people. exchanging our views on stuffs, and of course religious stuffs…. Seems like everybody has a say on this since we’re all like quite old already.

No worries, I’m not a salesman who tries to push for my product and force you to use my style of life. But I’m glad I even have the chance to know them… and know what they’re thinking of. God is good to me, He allowed me to meet people in my class. And in this cac camp as well. Shared a bit with this girl on our way home.. It was rather fun! Hope we’d have the chance to talk more next time!

Let’s keep this going, and let me really beat my body as a slave and do my best in this!

(I’m going crazy this days. When I have nothing to do on my way home just now, I actually rehearsed what I’m gonna scold my kids next time if they’re rebellious in class. LOL)

Schizophrenia setting in………..

thankYou God

2011-06-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

Philippians 4:12-13

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

an ending for a new beginning

2011-06-05T03:15:00.000-07:00

8^th June 2011 marks the start of my 7^th year in Christ. I’m gonna be 6 years old! I thank You for all the trials and tribulations that You’ve brought me through ever since I was born. I thank You for always giving me strength when I don’t think I have what it takes to go on anymore. I thank You for making me. I thank You for loving me, and showing me how to love. I thank You for who You are cause You’re always there, and You never give up on anyone. You treat everybody equally, and love freely. You’re the perfect role model, and the only One I should look up to.

I always have this stupid thinking. In the Old Testament, isn’t the 7^th year of a period the best year?

Exodus 23:11
but during the seventh year let the land lie unplowed and unused. Then the poor among your people may get food from it, and the wild animals may eat what they leave. Do the same with your vineyard and your olive grove.

Exodus 21:2
[ Hebrew Servants ] “If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything.

Deuteronomy 15:9
Be careful not to harbor this wicked thought: “The seventh year, the year for canceling debts, is near,” so that you do not show ill will toward your needy brother and give him nothing. He may then appeal to the LORD against you, and you will be found guilty of sin.

Haha, I’d always think that my 7^th year in Christ would be a bang, it’s a year where servants are freed, lands don’t have to be ploughed, the poor and the animals get fed freely. Maybe I’d have big breakthrough in my 7^th year, and maybe I don’t have to work as hard… Haha. Stupidest thinking ever.

Leviticus 25:19-21

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁹ Then the land will yield its fruit, and you will eat your fill and live there in safety. ²⁰ You may ask, “What will we eat in the seventh year if we do not plant or harvest our crops?” ²¹ I will send you such a blessing in the sixth year that the land will yield enough for three years.

I believe, if I’m one of the Israelite, I’d definitely be one of the least faith-filled. I’d probably ask God this question too. But God is more than able. He actually promised that He will provide. He will not just meet my needs, but also give me abundance and overflowing goodness.

And before He blesses us in the 7^th year, He would have already sent us blessing in the 6^th year that is more than enough for us. My 6^th year in Christ….. blessing? Haha. Yeahh. This is the period I think I grew the most, (may not seem so outwardly) but there were important lessons that I’ve learn and I will carry with me all my life.

I grew in areas I’ve never saw myself inadequate in. At least, I became a lot more aware of them, and I really want to do something about it. Insecurities, anxiety, how I fail to prioritize God sometimes. This weaknesses stood up exceptionally in a particular area. Now I can only pray that I do it right forevermore. But God provided a lot of help too, wisdom in stuff I read and in sermons. And He was always around. But I may not have followed wholeheartedly all the time. That’s bad….

I guess this is it. This marks the end of everything. I’d never foresee myself having the guts to say this. but yes, I’m gonna move on. Pack up and go. I want to do this right, badly. I hate it when I’ve become the distraction or nuisance to other people. And I hate to let negative thoughts overcome me. And I hate it even more when I listen to it.

God is gonna be my one thing now.

I know myself a lot better through the past 6 years, and I’m work in progress. God is still sharpening me, although sometimes I really hate the sharpening. But I guess, I’m in no position to haggle with God. Cause He has the best for me. I can only yield to the Creator of my life. My life that I owe Him. I’ve failed too many times before. Gotta start living in grace dangerously. Gotta start living my life dangerously for the One who gave His life for me.

I’m thankful for those whom God used to sharpen me. It’s a privilege. God, grow me in ways I’ve never imagined before.

Jeremiah 33:3
‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

Take the center of my life, Jesus. Grow me in my weaknesses, and my strengths. Dear God, sometimes, I just want to tell You that I’m sorry for being sucha bad sheep. So reluctant to claim Your promises and dwell in my own sinfulness. Probably the worst solution to any problem? Help me out here. And keep my eyes on You. That’s the only right thing I can do.

Psalm 16:2
I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.”

I can only pray for You to be greater here. And to put everything in their right places, because You’re the only one who can. This life, this heart, is not mine anymore. It’s Yours.

Amen.

2011-05-31T09:16:00.000-07:00

Acts 4:32

The Believers Share Their Possessions

³² All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. ³³ With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. ³⁴ There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales ³⁵ and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.

overflowing.

2011-05-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful, because I'm dearly loved by the King, the One whose Name is above all names.

Thank You, for who I am today. Thank You for sending people to prune me, shape me, and change me.Thank You for Your presence in my life, thank You for not giving up on me.

How did I ever get the idea that I'm not good enough? My security is in You. The God who will never let me go. And tonight, I'm deeply comforted by Your love and grace.

:')

kids and me

2011-05-29T02:12:00.000-07:00

Had a great time at kinders again.. Jadynnnnnnnnnnnnnnn hahaha. I really thought I'm gonna be a biased mom-to-be. HAHA. Yeahhh, but guess what? I've begin to develop an unique liking for girls. They're so sweet and cutee. Boys or girls, also can lar. Hahahah

Oh yes, lest I forget. Jadyn's birthday is 3rd October. I supposed she's born in 2006? Haha...

Casually asked her when's her birthday last week, she wasn't very sure so she said she will go back and ask her mama. She actually remembered it till this week! The first thing she told me today was, "3rd October". Haha, sorry for being lost at first, but I know its your birthday! :)

Kids, they remember everything - the good and the bad. So let's give them good memories to bring along all their lives. :D

faith and science

2011-05-29T02:08:00.000-07:00

Science helps us to make sense of alot of things. Like, why my kid is doing poorly in school, why do I have certain urge or why do I always feel particularly angry/sad/happy whenever something happens.

But I think we don't really want merely want our lives to make sense. We need to live out God's plans. And by that, science is not enough. We need faith. Need faith to breakthrough of whatever situation we've already made sense of. To get better, to improve, to believe.

One cannot do without another, both must work hand in hand. Science to see where we're at, faith to see where we're gonna go. Even when science says its impossible, but by faith - nothing is impossible.

2011-05-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

Things to do this summer holidays:

Read my psych txtbk
Read as many books as possible (time to enrich myself, books over videos!)
Go running more often
Go to kinders every week

2011-05-25T22:47:00.000-07:00

Clean hands, pure heart. Plus I really need God in my life.

God doesn't want anything from me, but He has the best thing for me.

What wise words....

Gotta stop dwelling in this nonsense that I'm not good enough. Cause that's so untrue. Gotta start working on this bad habit in my life!

2011-05-24T21:11:00.001-07:00

James 4:1-3 (New International Version)

James 4

Submit Yourselves to God

¹ What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

kids and me

2011-05-21T23:24:00.001-07:00

Thank God for this lazy Sunday afternoon, supposed to have tuition but I guess God hears my cry that I’m quite tired so tuition is cancelled! Not on my own accord of course, my tutee forgot about it. Haha.

Went to kinders just now, was blessed to have so many innocent children sitting around me. Jadyn opened up abit more today : ) Amos is forever in breakdancing position, Samuel and Thaddeus running around.. Gabriel didn’t come today : ( haha and Ian is still being his cute self! There’s a new girl today, (whoops I kinda forgot her name cause I was busy tending to the rest, gotta make sure I get it next week), she has really huge eyes, really sweet-looking. Haha. Before I start sounding like a crazy pedophile, just let me explain that I really love kids a lot. And I really believe they are gifts from God to us. That’s why I want to have 4 children, teach them well, and you’ll have 4 more blessings on this Earth. Haha, am I thinking a bit too far ahead?

Maybe you’d think that they don’t understand what you’re trying to say. Or the only thing they’d ever react to is “snacks time”.. Haha. I think its true, but which of us adults came to know who God really is because of God Himself. Some guys came because of girls, some girls came because of guys, some kids came because of their parents, some came because they merely had nowhere to go. But in this process, God changed us, He led us to know Him more and more. Revealed His power and strength through His people, and His word. I guess it’s the same for the kids, they might be easily enticed by the snacks or whatever. But when they’re there, I really believe that God moves in their hearts. When they pray, coherently or not, I believe God hears. And God understands. And most importantly, God comes a little closer to them each time they are exposed to Him. This is probably something more important than them learning the lessons, knowing how to recite the bible back and forth. I see them as little humans trying to make sense of their own world. Haha. That, of course involves God, because God created them and lives in them. So I really want to help them in this young journey of finding out who God really is and why we’re here and why we do what we do. Hahaha.

Unit yesterday made me realized that many of us spent most of our lives figuring out where we come from and where we’re gonna go after we die. And also, why we’re here and why we have to leave this earth after inhibiting it for like 70years? I thank God that I’m pretty sure why I’m here, and where I come from and gonna go after this journey. I guess what’s left of me is to really enjoy this whole journey in between. This short portion of eternity I’m gonna have on this earth. Doing what I’m called to do, and fulfilling God’s purpose in my life. I’m unpacking the luggage God has packed for me in this journey on earth. There’re still some stuffs that I don’t quite understand why they’re in my hands, and there’re still some another stuffs that being underutilized way too much. I guess the answer is with God. Haha. When asked to list down my weaknesses, I could easily write them down without hesitation. But when asked to do otherwise, it seems like my pen became a knife or something. I don’t really know what should write. I know who I am, but I’m fearful of writing it down. And Liting, that’s a major area to grow in.

I’m gonna turn 21 in 3 months’ time. I’m very thankful for where God had picked me up from and transformed me to who I am today. But I know there’s a lot of things that I still cannot do well. God, please add upon what I have. Its about us now. Haha.

doing the right thing versus doing the righteous thing

2011-05-10T12:11:00.001-07:00

Being ‘old’ Christians, it’s easy not know what is the right thing to do given a situation. But the thing is, will you do it? Or maybe, some of us has passed the stage for that question. The focus now should be. Why are you doing it?

When things are going well, it’s easy to love, easy to give, easy to trust, easy to do the right thing. But when things aren’t going well, say, you’re hurt or something. We all know what is the right thing to do, and we’ll do the right thing. But do we do it because we want to do it or because we’ve auto-piloted ourselves to this mode?

Sometimes, I double check my heart before I say I really wouldn’t hold it against the person, or I forgive the person. While it is a command to forgive others like how Jesus has forgiven you, we have to realize why we’re doing it in the first place. Liting, if it’s for people’s approval, if it’s for people to announce to the whole world that you’re a spiritual giant.. Then maybe you need to rethink what have you been building you foundation with God on. Sometimes, I’m tempted to do it. Why not right? Give you a slipshod, “I forgive you” and then get on with our own lives as if nothing had happened. And we’ll probably not go close to each other again. But is this the right spirit? This thing keep poking me tonight. Is this the right spirit? Isn’t this, in its essence, running away? Just with legitimate reasons. Whatever it is, God search my heart whenever I say such words. Make sure I mean them. And why am I doing this? Not because I want people to forgive me if I’ve hurt them. And not because I want to look like some spiritual monster. It’s because I want to live by Your word and Your stand. If You were here, You’d have forgiven them for sure. (but, please throw in a parable as well.. haha :/)

The least I could do is to not hold anything against them. Although that’s very little, that’s a start. A few years ago, I gave up on my right to choose who to forgive, or who to apologize to. That, doesn’t mean that I’m perfect, but if I'm really presented a choice, I will try my best to choose to do either depending on the situation. Of course, there are people who pushes my limit, (and because I’m not perfect I have a limit! – and that’s not an excuse). There are really some people out there whom I find it really hard to forgive at that very moment, or worse, after whatever incident that had happened. But I guess the most empowering thing you can do to whomever that might have hurt you before is to forgive them. And to those whom you’ve hurt before, an apology/restitution is only right especially if you’re a believer.

There’s no such thing as he/she will get over it, or I do not have to do anything since we’re both hurt in this situation. If we can count our exchanges as units of pluses and minuses for all the good and bad things we’ve done to the people around us, all we have will be a cold and unfeeling world. But we’re different. We feel, we get upset, we get disappointed, we get jealous. We get whatever, that’s why we long for perfect (or rather, near to perfect) relationships. So, if you want one, start approaching it with the standards of the perfect One.

Forgive readily, love your neighbor as yourself.

Exodus 34:6

“The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness,”

Leviticus 19:18
“‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

Mark 12:33
To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

Galatians 5:14
The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Then you’re on your way to having the closest to perfect friendship/ties you’d ever have probably. But, the good(best) news is, you’ll find yourself drawing so close to God, and that, would be the perfect relationship of your life.

You may say, it looks real easy on paper, but it’s seriously taking my life whenever I even think of executing it. Yeah, I agree. How do I ever forgive the person who stab me across my chest and twist the knife before removing it? I suffered the hurts, nothing can compensate for whatever I’ve went through. He’s the bad guy, she’s wrong - as we always say. It’s true. It’s really true. Nothing can be more truthful than the truth. I’m not trying to belittle whatever everybody had went through but that’s really not the way to go…..

I held onto this thinking for the bulk of my life that I’m tired of it. Forgiveness, is the very first thing we receive when we asked Jesus to enter our lives. And you can only practice giving a little bit of God’s love by doing to others what He did to You. Grudges eats you up, it blinds you, it only makes everybody miserable. (I’m not saying I can forgive everybody and anybody…… it takes time sometimes.)

Let me share with you a little story.

As you guys know, my brother and I hadn’t been the greatest pair of siblings in history. All we do is fight. Fight. And probably more fight. If he doesn’t fight with me, he fights with my mom. The only decent conversation we had consistently is, “are you gonna use the toilet?” Or, “Hurry up, I need to use the toilet.” Haha. Ohwells…..

And do I need to spell it out that I don’t exactly adore him sometimes? Haha, especially when he’s being mean and stuff. When I was 14 I set my mind on hating him, really detesting him and loathing him. I make sure I went against his ways if I can. And I made sure I hurt him as much as he hurt me. (and I’m good at it!) lol. Yeah, anyways… but that was the worst part of my life, while I hate, I grew in fear. I fear that I might not see tomorrow on some real low days. Not sure when these fights would evolve to something that I’d regret for life. But in any case, HOW CAN I TAKE IT LYING DOWN THAT HE’S BEING SUCH A BULLY AND I LET HIM HAVE HIS WAY RIGHT? (I read your mind!!!) So, as a result, heated arguments were our best friends. We’d wake our mom up in the middle of the night just because we’re too aggressive. In between, I received Christ. I struggled with the very fact that we need to love our neighbor like ourselves. WHY GOD WHY?! I refused to forgive, I just refused to. I look at all the hurts he left upon me, all the scars that I have to pick up from. I tell myself, no way am I gonna forgive this dude. But, what did God say? He says, this is a commandment, not a favor.

(Reality of God sets in)

Much as I try to struggle, it’s pointless. So I began to submit, to at least not to rebut or ‘rebel’ against him. Of course, I didn’t start out with an extremely willing heart; I fell here and there as I try. But the grace of God is always with me. Then slowly, God changed my heart. It was not longer forced, it was no longer a struggle to just stand there and listen to his insults. It was the right thing to do. The desire to fight back died down…. And I began to slowly forgive him. Weird right? It was something I wouldn’t imagine I would do. But that was one of the most liberating experience I’ve came across in my whole life.

I began submitting to God even more, and in turn, submitting to him even more. To do whatever I think was righteous, to give up my rights, because God gave up His for me.

And recently, we had this talk. I would never imagine us talking in sucha situation.

It was results day of the general election. He was telling me why we should all support his party instead of mine. And a seemingly innocent conversation turned into a lecture by him. He began to say that I’m a person who is different from them. Because I like to rebel. Because I don’t like to back down and compromise for whatever I believe in. (because of my believe in the opposition……) he told me that in this dog-eat-dog world, sometimes you’d have to compromise and swallow your pride because those who are bigger than you would eat you up whether you compromise or not. Might as well make your own life better by submitting.

So I said, I believe in compromising if it’s for the right reasons, but if I see certain things that’s not being done the right way, of course I would fight for it so that it will be make right again. So he went on to say that I’m just rebellious by nature….. (maybe I am, but I’m rebellious for the right things now)

So he asked me, if I ask you to get me a glass of water, would you do it?

Then I’m like, if you ask me this qns 6 years ago I’d probably punched you in the face. But yeah I will do it now.

He asked, then aren’t you compromising?

I said, no? This isn’t compromising because whatever I do is out of love, out of whatever I want to do for my loved ones, whatever I can do for this family. I don’t see it as compromising, but a natural thing to do. in any case, how hard is it to just get you a glass of water? The only thing I’m compromising is my pride, but that’s not really the issue here eh? Because what I’m gonna get or give is more than my pride. (woahhhhhh. Haha) And this is not just pure talk, everytime you ask me to do something, I did it anyways wad. I know there’s a need to compromise. I won’t compromise for everything, I only compromise for the right things. Aren’t you tired of fighting alr? Of the past.

*silence*(hope he's stunned by what i said in a good way)

Then we went on to talk about my beliefs.

He said, you’re rebellious by nature, that’s why you became pro-Christian.

(In my heart, the very first thing that came into my mind is that. I’m not PRO-Christian. I’m a Christian! But I kept quiet anyways.)

He continued to say that he’s an anti-Christ.

So I said, okay that’s fine with me, I won’t try to force my thinking on you, but surely we can talk about it.

Then he said the most epic thing I’ve ever heard in my whole life.

He said, “but I’m forceful”

Then, isn’t that the root of the problem? People try to enforce their thinking upon each other because they've been hurt before. They can't believe that they've been forgiven. or worse, they think that they don't need forgiveness. Haha. :/ In any case, thank God that the conversation didn’t end up with blood and tears. And I believe God is slowly changing his heart as well. I would never imagine talking to him at the sofa about such stuffs, and him telling me rather-nicely that the problem with my character is I’m too rebellious. He will one day understand why I do what I do. Maybe he won’t understand Christianity (but by faith he will). But I hope he would understand the power of forgiveness. His image of me is stuck in the liting 6 years ago. But I’m not the same anymore. I can be who I am today is because of His forgiveness. And because of this, the two of us can share a conversation amiably. We all need forgiveness. It’s not about forcing your values onto others so as to cover your hurts. It’s about going to where it hurts, then you’ll find what you need the most – love and forgiveness.

Yeah, this is a lengthy post, and this had been a long journey for me. Had been battling in this area of my life with God for the past 6 years, and I’ve never stopped learning something more from God through every exchange. Thank You God. Forgiveness broke my family up. But that was the very thing that had pieced me back together. He had convicted me of the power of forgiveness, time to extend it to those that’s around me. i can only pray that I can live it up in Jesus' name. I still find it hard sometimes, but I know, if I focus on the right things, I’ll get it more and more.

In conclusion, doing the righteous things are more important than doing the right things. Even the Pharisees know how to perform and carry out the right tasks. Doing the righteous things, is the way to go.

If you’re still here, haha, just wana say thankyou very nais ~ and I’m gonna sleep, nights.

2011-05-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

knowing your friend's and your own love language can up your friendships by 120919329934091201 levels!

talk talk talk

2011-05-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

Today I realised something about myself. Hahaha, what a revelation. LOL.

Ohwells, I figured out that sometimes I hog the conversation far too much. I like to talk. But, sometimes I talk too much. I like to spam the conversation. I dislike (sometimes, hate) silences. They always say, it’s okay to have silence in between conversations with friends, because that shows that you’re comfortable with each other… HUH?!?!?!?!?!??!?! HAHAHAHA. Okay, personally, I cannot really take the gaps within a chat sometimes. I’d feel obliged to talk. Is that crazy? Like, I’d feel the urge to continue the conversation, but at the same time, I’m afraid that I’d look weird because in order to carry on talking you need to ask questions here and there right. Later people think I’m some stalker or something. Or worse, some loner. Haha but I’m a little of both sometimes. LOL. Nvm.

But this trait gets worse when we’re talking about more serious stuff. Sometimes, when my friends share with me their problems. I’d feel obliged to answer them. like to say something just to make them feel better. Or when we’re sharing our views, I’d feel the need to put my thoughts into words and like get the message across. Sometimes, or maybe all the time, I think I’m too serious. Haha. Too convicted. I just have this need to make my feelings known. To tell people what I’m feeling inside. And sometimes, see if they feel the same way as me too. Haha.

Maybe I’ve tried too hard. Maybe sometimes I look like I’m imposing my personal experience or values unto others. Omg, I really didn’t mean that. I think I need to start listening more. And stop answering because I have to. Because I always do that. Always. Because I feel that whenever somebody talk to me, they want an answer, so all the more I need to reply. Haha. Thwarted mindset. Maybe I should start talking to God instead whenever I don’t have an answer, or when I’m trying to phrase the answer in my head.

Liting, it’s okay to have no stand on a particular matter. It’s okay not to have an answer sometimes. Slow it down, you don’t have to answer everything. Hahaha. Yeah, I need to say this to myself.

Btw, I realize this incessant need to talk because of this upcoming GE. LOLOL. Like I find myself trying to explain why I stand for whichever party that I like to my friends. Then when my friend opposes to it, I feel the need to reply, even though I don’t really feel very strongly about it sometimes. Weird right?!?!?

I think deep inside me I just want to keep the conversation going, hahaha insecuregirl1990. Yeah, trying to grow in this. Oh, before you start like spamming to talk to me, I’m quite okay with silence now already. Unless I super don’t like you, or like we’re angry with each other. Haha, I’ll still try to find the topic to talk, but if don’t have then it’s okay lo. LOL. I’m not weird. (?!?!?) Hahah maybe just a little attention deficit sometimes, with a severe need to communicate. Hahaha. Growing in process.

2011-05-01T03:13:00.001-07:00

Kudos to all those who have a heart to make Singapore a better place.

Kudos to those who even try to make something happen in this little red dot.

To those who hears of the forgotten. To those who fell in between the cracks.

I wish I have a heart like theirs, I wish I’m as capable as them. but I know this is not my field, haha. Thank God for them anyhow.

the sizzling GE

2011-04-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

I’m not a politics expert, and don’t have the desire to look like one. Haha, but here are some thoughts that I have about this upcoming elections. Ohwells, I guess it’s really up to each individual to vote/choose/like (whatever verb la ah,haha) whichever party, but just gotta make sure everybody has the right concept about this whole government thing?

Hmm, personally I’m quite ill-informed about all these stuff. Have been living in my own ‘stable’ world for far too long, taking everything for granted. How come we have upgrading, how come we can keep coming up with new mrt lines. I don’t even know where the money comes from, or more like, I don’t even know how the funds are being allocated to all this benefits that we get. I mean, I’m thankful for everything that the government had done for us in the past and now. I guess it’s just a phase for every country to go through, a phase to re-evaluate all our leaders and policies. This happens everywhere right? Just that now on a national level, it seems like everybody is more divided because of the extent of the potential changes.

I’m more concerned about the people. Do some aunties and uncles actually know how the government is made up? Like, what their vote can actually do? And that really, government is not equivalent to PAP? Got kinda worried when I was talking to my mom in the afternoon. I guess, to them, PAP = government. Quite true, since like they held the majority of the seats in the parliament. Tried explaining to her like the whole concept… thank God that she got it. But, is there someone to explain to all these aunties and uncles out there what this whole deal is about? That they actually have a choice? (I’m not encouraging them to vote for the opposition here)
Do they even understand what they manifestos are about? Or, do they even bother to read other parties’ manifestos?

I thank God that I’ve received education. I thank God that if I try I can actually make sense of what’s really happening around me on my own. Sorry for being so ignorant for these whole time. But I guess this is a wake up call to all those in our generations who are politically apathetic. I used to be like that, and probably still like that. All the minsters’ names are like super confusing. And all their titles are super hard to remember. But at least, I’m trying to get a better idea of what’s going on. And I hope, whichever way this GE turns out. We will still remember that we’re still one, one country, one family. Haha. Cliché max. But yeah, and that we cannot forsake unity. And this is the most important thing, even if the party that you vote for doesn’t win, we cannot give up on whatever we had and have now bah.

Cause sometimes, this look like some putting-each-other-down-show to me, and I don’t like it. the main point is still to improve our current situation, and to fight for the best for each Singaporean. Oh wells, don’t know what to say already. Let’s end off with another cliché phrase.

May the best man wins.

2011-04-24T05:19:00.001-07:00

Oh God, give me burden. For anything that You've a burden for.
Oh God, give me a clean heart. To have compassion for others like how You did.
Oh God, give me clean hands. Just wana be a clean vessel for You.

Put all this together in me. Don't wana let You die in vain. Thank You Jesus.