I shall attempt to put my thoughts into words.

Sometimes, I look at life and all I can say to God is … “it’s kinda unfair, isn’t it?” and it was increasingly hard to reconcile this facts in my life recently. But I know that there’s no room for bitterness to set in. cause once you allow it to grow in your heart, that’s it.

Ever had that feeling that you’re born different from the rest? Like, somehow you know what to do better than others, and somehow you’re expected to deliver more than others? I don’t know. I had that feeling most of the time. Okay, maybe not the better than others part, but definitely the different part.

This is the part of my life where I feel that nothing is going right. And probably, sometimes, allow me to complain, nothing seems to go really right. Then this time, unspiritual liting would look around her friends’ lives and start wondering……

Why is it that they are leading better lives than me? Why am I having such a hard time? Why some people are just born luckier?

And. That’s….. unfair.

I’ve got to admit, there was this certain point that I really got a little affected by it. Then somehow, God remind me of the parable of the talents. A had 1, B had 2, C had 5.

“You see, the way you distribute already so unfair already what. How can you only give 1 to A then 5 to C?”

But I was wrong. The point here is not about how many talents God has given you, which I was so caught up in. The point here is – are you faithful with the talents that are in your hands? If you have one, you’re faithful, God will give you one more! Then you’ll have 2. LITING THEN YOU’LL HAVE 2!!! Then aren’t you on par with B already?! Then if you continue to be faithful with two, God will multiply, then you will have 4! And the multiplication goes on….

I mean, on the flip side of the story, I can always still choose to complain that even if I was faithful, I will only be on par with B. I was endowed with B initially. And worse, if B was faithful with his/hers, I would still have lesser! And so no matter how faithful I am, I will still have lesser because of where I started from.

Okay liting you can continue to indulge in this thinking and yes, you will always be in lack. How about this? Christianity is not so much of looking to your side, but more of looking upwards. Looking upwards to your heavenly Father, what He can do through your life, and what He has given you from where you are. No doubt, it sounds a little unfair. You can be emotional about it here and there, you can really think its unfair… But God will bring you through this. He can give you so much more than you already had and bring you to places where you are supposed to be if you would allow Him to. It's not about having a bed of roses, but going through and working through life with whatever we have with our Lord who loves us deeply.

Sometimes I get a little too calculative that I forgot what this whole deal is about. Then I’d start to get cranky. It’s not about what I have or what I don’t have. Yeah, I do get jealous and sian sometimes when I see people who seems to have it easier. But I guess at the end of the day, I have God. I have a healthy body, I have a decent education. I can sing, move around, jump, run, hop whatever. I can speak, I can talk. I have friends. My parents are still around. I have a dream. And yeah, I have God… : )

Someone who is always there for me at the end of the day. And someone who knows me inside out, and I know in His timing, everything would be okay. It’s always about You, not me.