8^th June 2011 marks the start of my 7^th year in Christ. I’m gonna be 6 years old! I thank You for all the trials and tribulations that You’ve brought me through ever since I was born. I thank You for always giving me strength when I don’t think I have what it takes to go on anymore. I thank You for making me. I thank You for loving me, and showing me how to love. I thank You for who You are cause You’re always there, and You never give up on anyone. You treat everybody equally, and love freely. You’re the perfect role model, and the only One I should look up to.

I always have this stupid thinking. In the Old Testament, isn’t the 7^th year of a period the best year?

Exodus 23:11
but during the seventh year let the land lie unplowed and unused. Then the poor among your people may get food from it, and the wild animals may eat what they leave. Do the same with your vineyard and your olive grove.

Exodus 21:2
[ Hebrew Servants ] “If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything.

Deuteronomy 15:9
Be careful not to harbor this wicked thought: “The seventh year, the year for canceling debts, is near,” so that you do not show ill will toward your needy brother and give him nothing. He may then appeal to the LORD against you, and you will be found guilty of sin.

Haha, I’d always think that my 7^th year in Christ would be a bang, it’s a year where servants are freed, lands don’t have to be ploughed, the poor and the animals get fed freely. Maybe I’d have big breakthrough in my 7^th year, and maybe I don’t have to work as hard… Haha. Stupidest thinking ever.

Leviticus 25:19-21

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁹ Then the land will yield its fruit, and you will eat your fill and live there in safety. ²⁰ You may ask, “What will we eat in the seventh year if we do not plant or harvest our crops?” ²¹ I will send you such a blessing in the sixth year that the land will yield enough for three years.

I believe, if I’m one of the Israelite, I’d definitely be one of the least faith-filled. I’d probably ask God this question too. But God is more than able. He actually promised that He will provide. He will not just meet my needs, but also give me abundance and overflowing goodness.

And before He blesses us in the 7^th year, He would have already sent us blessing in the 6^th year that is more than enough for us. My 6^th year in Christ….. blessing? Haha. Yeahh. This is the period I think I grew the most, (may not seem so outwardly) but there were important lessons that I’ve learn and I will carry with me all my life.

I grew in areas I’ve never saw myself inadequate in. At least, I became a lot more aware of them, and I really want to do something about it. Insecurities, anxiety, how I fail to prioritize God sometimes. This weaknesses stood up exceptionally in a particular area. Now I can only pray that I do it right forevermore. But God provided a lot of help too, wisdom in stuff I read and in sermons. And He was always around. But I may not have followed wholeheartedly all the time. That’s bad….

I guess this is it. This marks the end of everything. I’d never foresee myself having the guts to say this. but yes, I’m gonna move on. Pack up and go. I want to do this right, badly. I hate it when I’ve become the distraction or nuisance to other people. And I hate to let negative thoughts overcome me. And I hate it even more when I listen to it.

God is gonna be my one thing now.

I know myself a lot better through the past 6 years, and I’m work in progress. God is still sharpening me, although sometimes I really hate the sharpening. But I guess, I’m in no position to haggle with God. Cause He has the best for me. I can only yield to the Creator of my life. My life that I owe Him. I’ve failed too many times before. Gotta start living in grace dangerously. Gotta start living my life dangerously for the One who gave His life for me.

I’m thankful for those whom God used to sharpen me. It’s a privilege. God, grow me in ways I’ve never imagined before.

Jeremiah 33:3
‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

Take the center of my life, Jesus. Grow me in my weaknesses, and my strengths. Dear God, sometimes, I just want to tell You that I’m sorry for being sucha bad sheep. So reluctant to claim Your promises and dwell in my own sinfulness. Probably the worst solution to any problem? Help me out here. And keep my eyes on You. That’s the only right thing I can do.

Psalm 16:2
I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.”

I can only pray for You to be greater here. And to put everything in their right places, because You’re the only one who can. This life, this heart, is not mine anymore. It’s Yours.

Amen.