Today I realised something about myself. Hahaha, what a revelation. LOL.

Ohwells, I figured out that sometimes I hog the conversation far too much. I like to talk. But, sometimes I talk too much. I like to spam the conversation. I dislike (sometimes, hate) silences. They always say, it’s okay to have silence in between conversations with friends, because that shows that you’re comfortable with each other… HUH?!?!?!?!?!??!?! HAHAHAHA. Okay, personally, I cannot really take the gaps within a chat sometimes. I’d feel obliged to talk. Is that crazy? Like, I’d feel the urge to continue the conversation, but at the same time, I’m afraid that I’d look weird because in order to carry on talking you need to ask questions here and there right. Later people think I’m some stalker or something. Or worse, some loner. Haha but I’m a little of both sometimes. LOL. Nvm.

But this trait gets worse when we’re talking about more serious stuff. Sometimes, when my friends share with me their problems. I’d feel obliged to answer them. like to say something just to make them feel better. Or when we’re sharing our views, I’d feel the need to put my thoughts into words and like get the message across. Sometimes, or maybe all the time, I think I’m too serious. Haha. Too convicted. I just have this need to make my feelings known. To tell people what I’m feeling inside. And sometimes, see if they feel the same way as me too. Haha.

Maybe I’ve tried too hard. Maybe sometimes I look like I’m imposing my personal experience or values unto others. Omg, I really didn’t mean that. I think I need to start listening more. And stop answering because I have to. Because I always do that. Always. Because I feel that whenever somebody talk to me, they want an answer, so all the more I need to reply. Haha. Thwarted mindset. Maybe I should start talking to God instead whenever I don’t have an answer, or when I’m trying to phrase the answer in my head.

Liting, it’s okay to have no stand on a particular matter. It’s okay not to have an answer sometimes. Slow it down, you don’t have to answer everything. Hahaha. Yeah, I need to say this to myself.

Btw, I realize this incessant need to talk because of this upcoming GE. LOLOL. Like I find myself trying to explain why I stand for whichever party that I like to my friends. Then when my friend opposes to it, I feel the need to reply, even though I don’t really feel very strongly about it sometimes. Weird right?!?!?

I think deep inside me I just want to keep the conversation going, hahaha insecuregirl1990. Yeah, trying to grow in this. Oh, before you start like spamming to talk to me, I’m quite okay with silence now already. Unless I super don’t like you, or like we’re angry with each other. Haha, I’ll still try to find the topic to talk, but if don’t have then it’s okay lo. LOL. I’m not weird. (?!?!?) Hahah maybe just a little attention deficit sometimes, with a severe need to communicate. Hahaha. Growing in process.