Is there some things in life that we’ve taken for granted? For far too much. And far too long.
You gave somebody a call 2 days ago. He/she didn’t pick up. You stop trying, because you think that he/she would return your call when he/she sees it.
Eh? But he/she didn’t.
So you tried again the next day, this time round, he/she didn’t pick up again. Weird. But it’s okay. He/she will return it when he/she sees it.
Eh? He/she didn’t. Yet again.
You’ll probably start to get pissed. Start to get sian. Start to get irritated. Because you think that you’re not important for him/her to take some time off to return the call.
But, no. Little did you know that, he/she is no longer around.
Not that he/she didn’t want to. But he/she can’t. And when he/she needed your help so desperately, you weren’t there as well.
Bye, my beloved third uncle. I will always remember you. And I will always love you. Much as you didn’t interact much with us sometimes, but I know it’s not because you don’t want to. But because you don’t know how to. It’s okay. I understand. I know you want to hang out with us. I know you want to play with us. And, that’s enough.
Thanks for being an uncle in my life. And most importantly, thanks for being my mom’s big brother. You may not know it. But, she really cares for you. She really loves you. She can’t sleep tonight because of you. You meant so much to her. More than those tears could ever express, more than those words could ever say. She told me, the moment she closes her eyes, she thinks of you. I believed you’ve taken real good care of her when you were younger. Thanks, really, thanks so much for that.
She took out all the photos that you guys had just now. Even though it’s not a lot, it gave me a better picture of your childhood. Nostalgic? Hell yes. I couldn’t stop crying either. You guys must had a lot of fun while growing up. She said you looked cute, haha. And I think so too! I don’t know where you are now, I pray that God has mercy on you.
Every other year, somebody in my family leaves for a place far far away. In nights like this, I always wonder who would be the next to go. And being a crazy girl, whenever I think that it’s gonna be either my mom or my dad. I couldn’t take it at all. Life, is just so unpredictable eh? One day we were so happy together, and the next we barely knew each other. Or, we’ve disappeared from each others lives. Life, how can I do well here?
.
.
Exams are over, I thought I’d have some time to climb up on my own. Probably just like Jonah in the bible, I needed a few days in the belly of some big fish. Some time to allow myself to be cui, some time to allow myself to find some strength and support from the people that loves me. And give whatever little that I've left to those that I love. No, God. God says no. Haha. This is something that I didn’t expect. I don’t have time at all. And I have to be strong. You have to give your all. Yet again. The thing that I’ve been complaining for the past weeks. And, guess what? It’s written in the bible!!!!!!!!!
Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Jona 1:2
“But I don’t want to be strong anymore. I’m tired enough to sleep forever.”
Jona Yu Liting, looks like there’s nowhere you can run. Nowhere. Stand up and be strong. Though it’s hard. Continue to fight the battle. You can cry, but keep fighting. The tears can fall, you cannot fall. There’s people out there who needs you. You can cui, but keep moving forward. You can get hurt, but make sure you learn something from it.
There must be a reason why this is happening. God, though I don’t know why. And I very much want to run away. But I know, there is no point. I still trust in You. Tell me, meet me, rebuke me, guide me, love me. I need those, I need You.
Tomorrow is gonna be a long day. Be prepared for the drama, girl. This is the fourth time you're going through it. You should know what to do. Break down, if you must.
And my right eye is infected again. Lord, save me.