Acts 17:11 (The Message)

10-12That night, under cover of darkness, their friends got Paul and Silas out of town as fast as they could. They sent them to Berea, where they again met with the Jewish community. They were treated a lot better there than in Thessalonica. The Jews received Paul's message with enthusiasm and met with him daily, examining the Scriptures to see if they supported what he said. A lot of them became believers, including many Greeks who were prominent in the community, women and men of influence.

They received the Word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so. —Acts 17:11

“Trust, but verify.”

This is the main take away from the daily bread today. Yeah, to be honest, it’s a pretty new principle to me, especially when it comes to the area of relations in my life. I trust people, but I dun think I have ever sought to verify their intentions or motives. I guess its not necessary when there’s mutual trust, and when both parties are enjoying the relationship. Because, if you verify every single motive of your friend, I don’t think it seems like you trust him/her anymore? It seems like you have to question everything just to make sure what you think of him/her is ‘correct’ – aligned with whatever that’s running in their heads.

It’s a very hard balance over here I guess. For me it’s always to trust. Verifying hardly comes into play. Maybe once or twice in my life, I get myself into situation that either trusts or verifies. But to trust BUT verify?! ( In maths, BUT is something like AND, if I didn’t remember wrongly from MA1100. )Especially towards friends who have hurt you unknowingly, to trust and to go the extra step of verifying will definitely kill me. LOL. Okay, brutally honest, I believe that I’m a more ‘trust’ person than a verifying person. And I would rather suck it all up and struggle to trust you all over again, than to bring up whatever hurts that happened before just to verify that you didn’t hurt me on purpose (even if situation is screaming that you did it on purpose.) Partly because I always find myself giving in ultimately (from past experiences, in the face of people I love, and I mean really love). Saying sorry for very menial stuffs (cause it's always everybody's fault or nobody's fault right?), pouring my heart out about how I feel, getting so vulnerable on my side, and in the end of the verification not get the same intensity/depth of response? Its sucks big time. The hurt deepens. Hence I hate verification, I'd rather be the dumb girl. LOL.


Haha. I (used to) trust that people will change for the better, trust that that is just a mistake made, trust that he/she didn’t think that much whenever they did something, trust that they didn’t want to hurt me intentionally. Now, I still do that, giving the benefit of the doubt here and there. But, as I grow older, I find it increasingly hard to trust that people will do all of the above anymore. Like, I still do trust anyone that comes my way. But I don’t know trust them to do what? Like for what? In the end, we all fall back to the same patterns, same routines. (PS part of Love the way you lie lyrics)

Like, do you guys get what I’m trying to say?
I know I got jaded along the way. I trust you. That you didn’t want to hurt me for whatever you did. You were having a bad day, you weren’t thinking straight. You thought of yourself first. You didn’t think that would hurt me. Or maybe it was a beautiful lie that would benefit the two of us. LOL. Yeahh. Pretty much that way, I always tell myself. And keep on giving the trust, though I don’t know where its gonna end up at. I'm tired of rationalizing, and even more tired to keep trusting in those rationalizations I've came up for whoever. But I still do. Its sucha hard thing to explain!!!!!! ROARS. LOL

Okay, I’m making myself increasingly harder to understand. It’s like, I trust people. and I believe it’s a virtue? LOL, I say until like I trust every single person in my life. Okay, before you judge me, at least I trust all of my friends. Not some random acquaintance, or maybe some girl I don’t like. LOL. So whenever they do something off, I’m a loser la actually. I don’t have the courage to verify. So the first thing I would feel is hurt. Then it will lead to anger or disappointment. But either way, I wouldn’t know how to communicate with them how I feel (cuz I suck at this!)

Then it will snowball into a sticky situation……………………….. I would try to resolve this within myself, talk to people that’s totally not involve, and rant and rant and rant. Then, try to sweep it under the carpet. Until the carpet bursts, then I would finally find the motivation to speak up about how I feel. And of course, some carpet bursts faster than others, depending on the depth of the relationship and the trickiness of the situation. Lol.


Maybe sucking it all up isn’t wrong, but taking it all upon yourself isn’t right either. So, lol I’m stuck here all over again. Zzzzzzz.


When people trusts, they get vulnerable because they allow their trust to be misplaced, or worse, to be misused. I haven’t gotten there yet and I don’t want to get there, thank you very nais. Haha. At the end of the day, I still choose to trust, but I guess, as everyone suggests, I need to learn to protect myself more. (as if I’m not defensive enough, haha) As in, in this area. Like, probably not so much of not trust people that much. But to consider my own well-being too. LOL? AM I MAKING SENSE? Okay, probably not to you. Oh wells. Yeah and learn that people do fail us here and there. Just that, when it’s the same person, or somebody close like your family member. It’s super zzzz. And that we’re all human, these things are inevitable. And perhaps from today’s ODB, I’m supposed to learn to verify with the other party, so that I wouldn’t feel so tired sometimes. Lol. Confusing siol. Take it in your stride yo, liting!

And maybe you think that whatever I’m writing is crap because you don’t think that I trust anyone in my life. Haha. Oh wells, random, but I had a random thought today.

If I keep quiet, nobody would hear me.
If I keep mumbling, nobody would understand me.
If I keep acting like I don’t care, people will really think that way.

God struck me somewhere about this today. Maybe because these are the things I always do. You cannot be Jona Superwoman Yu Liting all the time.

“You’re too alike with kim (my beloved ex-shep (: ) Too much for you own good!” – PB LEE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.